I do not attend meetings
But today has been really rough for me
And I have a lot of guilt
Especially for hurting one particular person with all my drunk antics over YEARS
I have apologized but it never seems genuine how do I get my point across
Some I was told this is an AA step and should skip
I do not attend meetings
If it took years to walk into the forest it will take years to walk out. I am not saying that to be discouraging, just to be clear: you can’t fix in a few words or even a few days what you spent years doing.
If you are early in sobriety - for example, still in your first weeks or months - you need to focus on your sobriety. For the moment, it is not the time to think about what you will say to other people, or what other people might think of you. You need to be sober, and steady, and you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Actions speak louder than words. It’s going to take time. We didn’t cause the damage overnight and we’re not going to fix it overnight either.
The step they are talking about is about making amends. Making amends is different than apologizing. We alcoholics and addicts apologized a lot while being drunk. So the appology lost meaning over time. If you truly want to make things right and want to make amends…then a meeting is probably a good start
Yeah my apology means shit at this point
So how to I make amends?
Honestly? It’s about asking the other person what you need to do to set things right. To do that is going to some help. Have you thought about a sponsor and going to meetings?
Also sorry for the million questions but I’m new to this
Do I have to tell people I’m sober? I rather keep it to myself
I echo what @Thirdmonkey said. One thing you may not have realized yet, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. You may have taken the bottle away, but that is just the beginning. The problems and behaviors remain. The real work comes in after we put the bottle down and get started working on ourselves. To make a real amends, you need to get started on that work.
For this Goat, that is the difference between sobriety and abstention. To be sober for this Goat, you have to do the work and keep doing the work each day of your life.
That is up to you. What feels like the honest thing to do?
Dont know how long you are sober but in early stages id get my sobriety sorted out first wish you well
The damage done isn’t repaired at the snap of a finger.
Rome wasn’t built overnight
Put a twist on the situation and see how you would feel.
We are business partners of a fairly profitable company, making well off year over year, we agreed our salaries would be 10% of the net profit, but for the last 5 years I been taking more than my fair share and recording it as expenses elsewhere, so I been dishonest and defying our agreement and trust. It finally comes out.
Do you think if I apologize and say it wont happen again your gonna be like ok, I believe you? And just continue the operation as such or are you going to be a little apprehensive, lack trust in me and want to see every little move I make under a microscope for great periods of time before you gain trust in me again?
So, with the input given…what is your course of action? We are all here to help.