Thank you Mandi 
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Still makes me smile, picturing Bill W writing what he may have wished had happened for him…a wife who didn’t nag after his drunkenness and wandering. It’s not so easy, though, to get to clear advice for a distraught and powerless Al-Anon. Not to mention one who is furious and ‘justified’. I’m grateful that the same 12 steps work for both sufferers; provided each grants to the other the autonomy to find their own HP and thus their own Way to the daily maintainance of a fit spiritual condition.
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What a powerful observation and summary Amelie. . And thank you Mandi for putting this up to read. I love this thread. 
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Trying to picture these brave souls circa 1935, endeavoring to plant hope in the hearts of family members, the medical community, and those still-sufferring. Even now, we know but little about alcoholism. Did anyone else see the HBO series on addiction years ago? What always still sticks in my memory is a woman in the series trailer at the beginning of each show who says something like: Even though I went through it, I sure don’t understand it. Thankfully, understanding is not required for the spiritual solution to work. Grateful.
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I wanted to wait until we were finished with this chapter to comment on it.
This chapter reminded me of my dad. I know it is titled, “To Wives” as it is outdated. But it does pertain to people who are impacted by other alcoholics as Al-Anon didn’t exist yet.
I have found myself wishing at times that I would have known that resources existed to support those who love others in addiction when I was much younger. I had many of these thoughts myself. I also had wished my dad would have tried to get sober, even if he failed. He never had any desire to stop drinking, no matter how much I begged him to. And within my own recovery, I can finally understand why.
That being said-I also read this chapter and think about how my own alcoholism must have impacted others.
Until I tried to quit drinking and downloaded a sober counter app where I accidentally hit a button and found this community-I had no idea what recovery actually looked like. It was a foreign concept to me. And I looked down upon it from my alcohol filled goggles. The thing I didn’t realize is that I was actually upside down and recovery is really more like a ladder out of the top of the glass, so I could climb out from the bottom of the drink that was drowning me.
I’ve known a lot of people in my life, but until I began my own recovery and connecting with others along this journey, I only knew one person in recovery. He was one of my favorites too! But I wouldn’t hook him up with my mom as he was in AA and at the time I saw that as a major flaw. I wasn’t aligned with what a blessing that program of recovery and working with other alcoholics actually was. I discovered an entirely new way of life because of these alcoholics in this book and on this forum-one that I never knew existed. Or could be so good. When I quit drinking, I thought my life was over-but it was actually finally getting started.
It’s a challenge for us to navigate this path and for those who love us as well as it is to love someone else who is struggling. I am grateful for these pages to reflect on that illuminate a way forward, for my own perception changes, for the people who grab our hands and show us a way out and for working this program that changed everything for me.
I know this reflection isn’t so much about this reading in particular, but this is what’s on my heart tonight that I felt I should share. Thanks for being here friends! 
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What a beautiful and heartfelt share. Thank you Mandi. I, like you, didn’t know the community behind the counter. This place and people like you have been “my ladder” and I am so grateful for your bringing the program to us though this thread and living and sharing as you do. Thank you. .
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What a beautiful share, Mandi. The story of the man you wouldn’t fix your Mom up with – that so much reminds me of my own view before joining, that AA ppl were always white-knuckling it, attending meetings to keep their brittle sobriety together. I’m so glad I was so wrong! It’s amazing to walk through the world without envy, fear, or resentment, and any thought of drink seems to have shuffled off with those poor companions. It’s nothing like I thought, but then neither was alcoholism. Thank you for providing this space for us.
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