I read a few books which really helped change my mind set, Jason Vales how to kick drink easily is one I would recommend. Certainly not suggesting it instead of a support group but as an extra tool definitely.
I go to counseling once a week. I use this app to make sure that I can tell my counselor that I made through the week without drinking. My counselor cost $30 with a co-pay but it’s a lot cheaper than two bottles of wine every night. I also started listening to podcast. Joe Rogan has some really amazing conversations with people and it takes my mind off of other things and helps me to live in the present especially during my commute.
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Sounds to me like you need to find someone after the meeting, grab a full information and support packet (free), get a big book $10, ask someone to sponsor you. It’s not magic, you have to put in work too. If you just bounce meeting to meeting, don’t find a sponsor, don’t work the steps it won’t work. As the saying goes it works for those WILLING to work the program. Best of luck.
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Or, you could decide to be sober, and then be sober.
That’s what I did.
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Reading a book called refuge recovery- check out the podcast- just another tool.
I’m trying to be sober I relapsed. Some of us can’t just quit cold turkey we need time and help.
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I am one of those people. This place was a great first step. AA was a tremendous help. Some use SMART, or a therapist.
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When I first started in recovery, I used this community a lot, as well as smart, eventually a 12 step program, meditation, journaling, and dance… I just kind of flailed myself at recovery to see what felt good. And since I was feeling so terrible before I started recovery, I started feeling better once I found the routines that made me feel like they were meant to be a part of my life.
Don’t be afraid to try new things, and be gentle with yourself 
️
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Yes. Some can say “enough is enough”, and this is enough. I wasn’t one of them, until I was. I had many short quits over the years, but one day, I’d had “enough”, and it was indeed, enough.
Some people want to quit, but they haven’t had “enough”. This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try, or there’s anything wrong with seeking help. Quite the contrary. Seeking help is a great leap forward, for one wouldn’t seek help, if a real problem didn’t exist.
And some are dealing with both mental illness and addiction. I consider myself very fortunate that only had one opponent to fight, all these years. Fighting addiction and mental illness is something one cannot do alone, for willpower alone cannot reset brain chemistry.
Decide to be sober, and then be sober. If someone needs help to be sober, there is no shame in this. Do anything, try anything, just be sober.
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Did you read this?? This is help. Walk into detox, get into a good inpatient treatment then work the steps after.
“Sounds to me like you need to find someone after the meeting, grab a full information and support packet (free), get a big book $10, ask someone to sponsor you. It’s not magic, you have to put in work too. If you just bounce meeting to meeting, don’t find a sponsor, don’t work the steps it won’t work. As the saying goes it works for those WILLING to work the program. Best of luck.”
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Wait, did you actually try AA multiple locations, multiple times, more than one meeting each location/ time slot? Did you try to work an AA program?
Or, did you just go a couple of times, and not look or try any harder?
I went to at least 100 AA meetings before I decided It wasn’t my thing.
There’s a thing about trying to get sober.
You have to do the work. AA isn’t going to do it for you. IOP won’t do it for you. SMART won’t do it for you.
If you want to change, you have to change. Everything. Change your friends, change your habits, change your schedule, most people end up even changing jobs.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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I watched it happen to my Mother. Her issues started in 1970, and she was on the losing side of the battle, for the rest of her life. Alcohol made it much, much worse.
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It’s a hard thing to whitness. There is so much truth to what you said about fighting both. Too often people blame one and don’t address the other.
I have someone close to me that thinks that only her mental illness is negatively affecting her life. She just can’t see how much the alcohol is playing a part also. I guess it’s like the other thing you said too… She’s just not there yet😔
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Yeah, it was tough. She couldn’t really take care of me and my sister, because she couldn’t even take care of herself. Dad was gone, off and married his mistress. Fortunately, we had grandparents who made sure we had as close to a “normal” childhood as means and practicality would permit. She wasn’t abusive in the least, and I can’t call her “neglectful” either, because when she was sober, taking her meds, she was a good and living mother. It was the illness and the addiction that made her dysfunctional.
Which is why I always have had a soft heart for those with mental illness. It’s not something you can just “shake off”, and if left untreated, will consume you. Add in booze as my Mom did, drugs, or both, and there is plenty that can go wrong.
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I admire your unwillingness to just accept that how you felt was “normal”, and your decision to not use it as an excuse to be an alcoholic.
My mother started with depression, and later became schizophrenic.
Keep fighting to get better at getting better.
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I couldn’t hang with AA. Too judgmental for me. I go to NA. We identify as addicts. A drug is a drug is a drug. Alcohol is just a liquid drug. It works for me. I feel accepted and am not pressured to conform to any religious thinking. A lot of people say God is “Good Orderly Direction.” Its another option. Good luck.
In the end all the anonymous programs are the same. The answer is in the 12 steps. I think the difference in meetings is most likely a geographical thing than a program thing. I used to go to both AA and NA daily and ended up taking the AA route for similar reasons to why you ended up in NA.
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AA did not help me either. I came out of meetings wanting to use worse than going in. NA has helped me tremendously though, they have been far more accepting, and way less judgemental. The 12 steps is the answer, but you have to WANT it!