Admittedly I only skimmed this thread, but I can say that surrendering to alcohol was the best move I made. Instead of constantly battling it, I gave up and declared alcohol the winner. When I surrendered it wasn’t constantly on my mind, how to combat, how to abstain, how long can I hold out.
I’m not a religious person, I don’t know what my Higher power is, some days it’s my conscience, some days the goosebumps I get when I think about my grandma who passed but I know there’s something out there greater than me. It took me a few weeks of willingness and being open minded to the idea but when the thought took root, life got infinitely easier and better.
I surrendered to win, and I am still winning to this day by admitting alcohol is bigger than me.
I’m an atheist, I started going to AA and I don’t sweat the god thing at all. I rarely go at all now, mostly due to work hours but I still go time to time because it’s good to hear you’re not the only one every once and a while. I agree with you completely as to your arguments, but if you can get ANYTHING out of a meeting, why not? 314 days sober…
Hi @Brookiemonster618. I could not for the life of me understand why I would surrender to alcohol. It was explained to me like this.
Your a boxer, every day you get in the ring and fight alcohol. (Try to control your drinking)
Everyday you loose that battle.
You get up the next day and get in the ring with it again and again alcohol wins. (Can’t control the amount you consume after that first drink)
This goes on for years until one day someone says…
Don’t get in the ring (don’t drink that first drink)
You can’t loose the fight if you don’t engage the bully.
Walk away.
Easy to say very hard to do. I also wanted to be “in control”. I have been in control of my drinking for 388 days because I just don’t take that first drink. I also go to AA meetings. I did not believe in higher power when I started AA but something took away those craving and helped me help myself. Not sure what it is but I thank “it” every morning and every night. Because without the help of others I would still be drinking my life away trying to control it.
Are there any “quad a” meetings in your area? That is, AA For atheists and agnostics? In any case, I understand your issues with traditional AA. As far as your trying to decide whether to stop drinking completely, all I can share with you was my view of my own life. I’ve been sober for 4 years. It is difficult sometimes. But for me, it enables me to be proud of myself. I definitely gave up “fun” in exchange, But I also gave up being ashamed, and stopped making a lot of really stupid decisions. Anyway good luck. Life is hard.