AA, Mental Health and Weed

Hey everyone! Currently 11 months off alcohol and am on my 9th Step so have begun the amends process (scary but worth it).

As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD and oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) and am now diagnosed with BPD and and ED but am managing and recovering from both.

I use weed to manange my BPD mood swings etc but am seeing more and more that in AA weed is a big no no but for me, it’s working wonders for my ED and BPD.

I never want to let anyone down or disrespect the program but I’m also aware that heavy medication would and has been a lot worse for me.

Thoughts?

Am I a fraud or am I simply managing my mental health?

Ahhhh.

Hope everyone is well :yellow_heart:

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Its a slippery slope that even divides psychiatrists. If you are doing it on your own, i would have concerns. If a pychiatrist is envolved, follow their guidance. Weed can alter to affects of the drugs to treat BPD.

There are no drugs that entirely treat BPD, just elements so I prefer DBT and behavioural therapy over heavy medication. Weed isn’t legal where I am so cannot involve a doctor unfortunately.

First of all, in my eyes your not a fraud, if u are honestly working on your recovery, u should be real proud of that. In my personal experience weed did not work for me after getting sober from alcohol, there was too many side effects i did not like. I have not worked the 12 steps so i would not know what is all about, but in my own sobriety journey not smoking or eating edibles makes my life much easier. I believe whatever helps you in recovery is what matters the most.

What does your sponsor say?

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I’m glad DBT is working well for you, it’s helped me with my BPD loads. Of all the classes of medications I’ve been prescribed, SSRIs have helped with the mood swings the most, but it took months of trying different ones at different doses to find the one that works. I had to be taken off because I trashed my liver, but I’ve been able to stay off after my liver recovered because honestly it’s the skills from DBT and CBT that do the heavy lifting now. The emotions are still crazy intense, but they’re intense at an appropriate distance instead of rammed down my throat without warning, which gives me a chance to react safely and weather it properly.

My standpoint doesn’t have a good enough view of the nature of your struggles with BPD, of the weed use, and the sobriety landscape to judge you right or wrong. However I will say I am uneasy about anyone who’s struggled with addiction using a substance to solve a problem, even though I think it can in some cases be a necessary evil. I think it makes staying away from alcohol harder when you’re in a state where “How can I get through this” includes any substance, prescribed for the purpose or not. Whether it’s a necessary evil or not sounds like a doctor question to me. Can you ask about it in the context of pursuing medical marijuana use, or is even medical use not legal where you live?

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Also curious what your sponsor says? I know weed is looked down upon but I truly believe it can help some mental illnesses in moderation. I used to throw up all the time due to stomach and digestive issues and it was the only thing that settled my stomach. It has also help calm me down from suicidal thoughts when nothing else is working.