I’m wanting a sponsor but I’m terrified to go to a meeting. I have pretty bad social anxiety.(which I take meds for).does anyone have any suggestions?
4 Likes
I’m much the same, pretty profound social anxiety as well as generalized anxiety, which I’m also medicated for and addressing with therapy. I’m no longer agoraphobic, but it still is a significant barrier for me.
I was able to go to a meeting once I heard what a typical meeting looks like, and that I can sit anywhere and not speak, and leave any time if my anxiety gets too high. I also had people supporting me before and after, and made time to recover my energy afterwards. As I went to more meetings (and groups in general) I needed less preparation, less external support, and left fewer meetings part way through. It is hard but it is possible, and it does get better.
I would challenge yourself to try. If you are convinced you would break apart or melt down just walking in the door to listen, you can start with only going to the door of the meeting, looking in, and leaving. Or even just sit in the parking lot. There is some intermediate step that you will be able to manage, and start to progress from. There’s no rule that says you have to go the whole hog the first time.
That’s basically how exposure therapy goes. You expand your ability to do more and your anxiety associated with the activity goes down as you progress. I’m actually now in the process of doing this to address my phobia of transit, and my fear of, avoidance of, and functioning in social situations. I’ve signed up for three small super casual social events per week that I have no interest in, other than to give myself the exposure that will eventually make me more able to enjoy social situations that I do want to participate in.
I’m also working with my psychologist on managing my life in general using ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which is based on CBT principles, as another vector of attack.
So if you can, I would try just sitting in a meeting and listening. Not participating in any bit unless you want to, just warming a seat with ears open. If it’s an open meeting, you can even bring someone with you just for support. But if you’re not ready, and you do want to be, there are ways you can tackle the challenge in bite-sized pieces. 
5 Likes
Thank you for your response…I will try this…I may have my husband go with me. He’s 100% supportive!
3 Likes
That sounds awesome! 
1 Like
I understand your fear of turning up to a meeting but it’s honestly the best thing ive ever done . Every one will welcome you . Sometimes we need to face our fears to get on in life . X
1 Like
I used to be very shy, quiet, and would turn beet red if I had to talk to people, even ones I knew well. Probably a big part of why I drank. Definitely brought me out of my shell. Anyways, i didnt think aa would be for me but I didnt completely throw the thought away. I just pushed myself to go this past week(at my 2 month mark) with every ounce of will I had and I gotta tell you, everyone who suggested it was right. And you dont have to say a thing except “I’m _____, and I just want to listen.”, if even that. No one will ask anything else of you. Everyone there has had a first meeting they got thru. I’ve been to 3 since. I haven’t attempted finding a sponsor yet, not sure I need one at this point, but everyone is willing to give out their numbers to help. All the best for your recovery.
1 Like
great thing about it - you dont have to say a word. just go and listen. and if you want to warm yourself up to it, hit an online meeting with your camera and mic off. x
1 Like