Abandonment and Healing

Where do I begin. Asking to share one’s story is wonderful perspective because it softens the pain and victim mentality and gives space where we’ve been, and where we are going in our own personal myth.

My addictive behaviors started when I was a little girl, soothing myself with sweets and food. My parents were functional addicts. My mother was into pills and my father an alcoholic. He got progressively worse over the years. He lost everything, his house, his car, in an abusive relationship with his now wife. I don’t have a relationship with either of my parents. I send a text here and there with my father, he never checks in on me or asks how I am doing. I blocked my mother everywhere, including email due to her abusive behavior towards me from her spiritual psychosis episodes.

Abandonment trauma is my wound I am tending to everyday. I struggled with a severe binge eating disorder for years and have periods where I was bulimic. I have worked through so much of it to this point, but anyone out there who has struggled with an eating disorder knows that it is a journey. I am happy with my progress.

I started smoking cigarettes when I was really young, like 17. All my memories with alcohol have been about escaping and numbing myself. I quit smoking weed. I am trying to quit smoking, After a fight with my boyfriend last night, where I was being insecure. A glass of wine and beer in, I stormed off from him then chain smoked, drunk. This is not the first time in my life where I realized my behavior was the problem. Every time I drink I become mean and I don’t know how to stop until I crash.

So last night I prayed and felt my heart beat. I know I need to step into the void and uncertainty of change. To know who I am on the other side of me numbing myself and running from my past.

I come here seeking community. To anything to help me overcome my desire for alcohol and nicotine. To learn what peace looks and feels like for me in my life.

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It took me some years to understand that apart from smoking I needed to quit the rest too. To understand I was addicted to substances in general. Anything to get away from feeling. Makes me glad you’re here to stop it all Freelife!.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you can find that community right here. I sure have. Take your time to read around, to learn how this forum works, and maybe engage with the good folks here who are all fighting the same good fight to be free from substances and addictive behaviours. It’s one day at a time for all of us and we are doing it together here. Which IMHO makes all the difference. So welcome again, and hope this is the begining of a beautiful new chapter in your life. Hugs.

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Thank you so much :slight_smile:

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Warm welcome, friend. Glad you found us.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry you had to go through tough stuff. Surviving and living with trauma is hard.
TS is a great community. We learn together and from each other how addiction and recovery work. We are happy when you join us! We are so much stronger together.

There are a lot of active threads where you can participate. Like the daily check-in thread, where you can connect real quick.

There‘s also the binge eating thread. You can find me posting a lot there, because I am also fighting food addiction. I love how we support each other and I don’t know where I would be without TS.

Read around and look what suits you best. Maybe you also find this helpful: Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers

One more time: Welcome! Good you‘re here.

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Hey! Wishing you all the peace you need. Start your adventure step by (little) step.

I learned a lot from this book. Maybe it is something for you too.

Violet :cherry_blossom: