I don’t know if this helps or not but this band called sixxam it’s Nikki sixx’s from motley Crue his newer band they have a songs called life is beautiful tomorrow and accidents can happen about recovery you should check them out
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I think you may be describing the obsession with alcohol that most of us drunks have had. We plan where, when, how, how much, how to recover, how to hide it, how to pay for it and pay the bills later.
Check out an AA meeting, you will get lots of helpful information there,and hope, and connection if you want it. There is no requirement needed to attend a meeting. If you want to call yourself a member of AA, you can, provided you have a desire to stop drinking. That’s it.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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Thank you! Both of you
I definitely have a desire to stop drinking, and he is worth it
I know I can be strong, every step you’ve described is absolutely right ^ I need to be honest with him and myself
Are AA meetings free? Also do they have online ones and where can I find them? Ive looked and I can’t afford any of them I’ve found online
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They’re free. You can look online by searching for “aa meetings online now”, and for in person, AA meetings near me.
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This link may help out - I’m not sure exactly how to share a link more cleanly but I’ve browsed around this thread for a few weeks just looking at everyone’s suggestions and literature. It has been a big help! The more you learn about what you’re facing, the better you’ll be able to fight it and earn the life you deserve.
Happy recovery to you! Reach out if you need anything - we are always here for you
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Try a meeting cost nothing always a seat waiting there for you wish you well
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Thank you guys! Day three sober 
I know it’s not much but better than before
And I had my first online AA meeting yesterday
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I’m happy to hear such good news! 
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Day 4 thanks everyone for your kind messages!
Just doing daily check ins
I have found that drinking lemon water throughout the day has helped me a lot (maybe it’s a type of Oral fixation)
Has anyone else found that drinking water or coffee throughout the day helpful?
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Just wanted to add get sober for YOU! Is he supportive in your journey too? Im unsure how to read your first post when you say he found out about previous instances and called you an alcoholic? In what context did he say this?
Im only asking because you will 100% need support and positivity at the moment 
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Helpful? More like essential! I have a 4-6 cup a day habit and probably a liter and a half of water. I don’t drink a whole lot else, maybe one small, well watered, berry or veg juice in the morning. A super special treat is the rare cream soda, usually with the equally rare pizza.
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If you haven’t already, check out this “checking in daily…” thread. Plenty of encouraging words.
https://talkingsober.com/t/checking-in-daily-to-maintain-focus-32/
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Water is life! I drink a lot of seltzer. I find that keeping a variety of teas around is also a fun way to mix things up and some herbal teas can have benefits as well. After dinner instead of having a drink I might have a cup of peppermint tea, which I find relaxing and can aid in digestion.
And yes, I love coffee, but I try not to go too overboard or I get over-caffeinated and irritable. I like to get good quality coffee, grind the beans, and do a French press in the morning. An iced coffee out is a treat for myself once or twice a week, especially on a hot summer day. I also started drinking mud\wtr which is like a coffee alternative adaptogen powder you mix with hot water. I like the flavor and it’s nice to have an alternative to coffee that is still a powerful flavor but does not caffeinate me as much!
Have you checked out the Daily Check In thread? It’s a great place to post every day. It can become a touchstone for checking in on your sobriety each day, sharing with others, and hearing their stories as well. I love the care people have for each other and the sense of listening to where everyone is at and celebrating milestones with one another. I hope to see you on that thread!
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I’m newly sober, 5.5 months, and I’m drinking way too much coffee because I’m still smoking. I don’t drink enough plain water. Drink three to four cans of various soda waters a day. Spindrift and Aha are my favs. All of these better than alcohol.
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I think that one thing that is very important in addiction is knowing what really drives you to escape. We all want to feel good, of course, but we generally have things in our lives that drives us to reach out for that drink, that pill bottle, that needle, etc.
When you feel that urge, sit down with yourself in some quiet and gently search your feelings. What is going on in your life at that moment? What are you feeling right then? What are you really wanting in that moment? Are there other ways you can get that?
There are a lot of questions you could ask yourself. You could go as deep as you’d like. There is always something there and if you can figure that out, that will make it easier to stop reaching out for that drink.
Not sure if that is useful for you, but I wish you the best.
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Hi! Yeah absolutely, I know I kind of worded that weird
To be 100% I was hiding the few instances I drank by myself and he found the bottles
He said “if you feel the need to hide it from me that is a sign of an alcoholic” (to give some context)
He’s definitely been helping me I’m ashamed to say yesterday, after only 7 days sober I broke and drank two glasses of wine and immediately regretted it
:’( I’m starting fresh and using that feeling of regret to be honest with myself and stay strong
Upping my AA to everyday or at least every other
Thank you ALL for your support, it is much needed
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Thank you I definitely need this 
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Congratulations on 5.5 months! I’m starting over, ashamed to say it
I only made it 7 days but everyone’s support has helped me be honest with myself
Thank you for clearing that up im glad he is supporting you, that makes much more sense!
I remember i used to hide empty bottles in all sorts of places!
Sorry to read you relapsed it makes you realise its not worth it.
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