Took the advice to heart to try and check in daily now. Today I really need it too. It’s the first day I can’t occupy me with loads of things to do and it’s a friday too. Maybe I’ll be back later, trying to write down some stuff to remind me why I should not drink. Take care until then.
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Good plan! Have as good day as you can Vadim.
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Welcome to the site @Vadim
Condolences for the loss of your grandmother. You’re doing an excellent job of staying sober. Remember the reasons you have made this commitment to yourself and let them take you through!
The support is here for you as you have found.
This is a hard, hard, time for you and all things considered, a good time for you to have made the big change to not drinking. One day at a time
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You’re doing the right thing by reaching out bro…. I don’t have any good advice yet I’m still in rehab but at least you’re trying to talk to people instead of ignoring your problems and continuing to drink. That’s a good thing brother, keep it up man!
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Still here, still sober. Just had the most lazy weekend and stayed in bed most of the time. It’s kind of hard to find the motivation to write but I wanted to let everybody know that I’m still on track.
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Hi Vadim, excellent that you’re checking in regularly now! There will be good days and bad days, that’s inevitable. You should be proud of yourself for hanging in there! Your grandmother would be very proud, I’m sure! 
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Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to the community! 
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Still here, still on track. Is it normal to keep dreaming about drinking? I usually don’t remember my deams but tonight I had this really vivid dream about drinking vodka that was hidden under my bed? It was really stupid and I woke up and felt extremely sick. Kinda glad it was just a dream. The day was exhausting so now I’ll just order some pizza, because I dread going to the store. I know I can’t live on Take out alone, but maybe tomorrow I trust myself enough for a grocery haul.
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Yes its totally normal.
Im 5 yrs sober and will dream Ive drank and caused havoc, wake up in a tizz till I realise.
I guess our mind is processing all our sober thoughts and that how they manifest, in dreams.
You’re doing great, my advice when you so the shopping, eat beforehand, have a bottle of water to stay hydrated and if you’re struggling do a quick check in as we will be in your pocket 
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Hi Vadim! Personally I’ve never dreamed about drinking, but it seems to be quite common, very vivid and extremely stressful cause it seems so real. Has your sleep improved, besides that you had the drinking dream? Pizza sounds like a plan! 
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Not really, but there is a lot going on here at the moment so I guess it’s pretty normal. I did manage to go to the store today. I went and got cash first and left my debit card at home so I had just enough money to get something to eat. Don’t know if that made it easier, if I had wanted to buy alcohol I would have found a way I guess, but I managed. Maybe I’ll get into cooking again. I used to love it when I was younger.
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Cooking is fun! If you really wanted to drink you would have gotten something. And you didn’t. Good work Vadim. Keep going friend. You’re doing really well.
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Yup, our mind gets very creative when the addictive voice lurks around the corner. So good for you for not buying anything! 
Cooking sounds cool, ever since I started listening to audio books while I cook, I like it. Before that, it just sucked! 
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I didn’t even notice but it’s day 12 already. I tried to think about a time I have been sober that long and I can’t think of a single one since I was about 18 years old. I still feel like shit most of the days. I read some other journals here and most people describe a big shift in mood around the one week marker. Something like feeling proud of themselves, but I was never the type for that. I always tend to think all of my accomplishments are just coincidence. What I do notice though is that I have so much more time. I never realized how much time you loose to drinking or being drunk. Usually my weekends always went the same: getting severely drunk on friday night, trying to fight the hangover all through saturday by keeping on drinking, therefore missing half of the day or so, then spending sunday mostly bedbound and asleep. Now there is so much time all of a sudden and I really have to find something to do.
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Just wanna validate that everything’s going fine there. That superficial shift in mood is nice, but meaningless. There are other amplitudes on the mood spectrum like PAWS or the milestone malady (
if you’re interested) that are equally real but they say nothing about the quality of your recovery.
You are describing real feelings. The emptiness, the boredom and that harshness you have w yourself (I got the same thing w achievements) - these are valuable observations. Stay in your reality, notice and explore your feelings, build connection w yourself. You’re on the right track.
A hobby also couldn’t harm tho 
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Two weeks now. Rough weekend, so no huge updates. I’m planning the funeral right now, so at least I’ve got stuff to do. I kinda dread the family gathering though. Everybody in ma family is kind of a heavy drinker and I fear that things will get out of hand once I’m around them. Maybe I can talk to my brother and tell him that I don’t want to mix alcohol with my grief.
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