Accountability//Temptations

Hey :wave:
A little context. I committed to 1yr sobriety in Jan 2021; completed it & thought I could resume drinking without the desire to binge drink or drink to get drunk as I wasn’t using to cope anymore. I was wrong. I have recommitted to 1yr sobriety again & am 3 days away from 5months. It’s been challenging and particularly tempting the past couple months. I don’t post but it does bring me comfort reading everyone’s posts.

The reason I’m posting now is for accountability. On a personal note I have influence in my church; I thank God for what He’s brought me out of and what He’s bringing me into. I don’t want to jeapordise or take advantage of my position which is why I am bringing this to light on this platform.

2 Qs -

  1. What works for you?
  2. What was the revelation/shift you had that convinced you to change and has that change been maintained?

Blessings,
A

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Welcome A! :wave:t2:

What works for me / what helps me:

  • Emotional opening up and digging into my feelings and what they represent. I do this with my spouse (this type of real emotional intimacy, we only started last fall; it has made a big difference), and I have a counsellor. I also have friends I made in sex addiction recovery groups, and speaking with them helps me stay grounded.
  • Mindfulness and meditation. I use www.InsightTimer.com

What was the revelation?

  • I had known for at least 15 years that my addiction behaviour was out of alignment with the person I wanted to be: it was out of alignment with my values. I don’t know that there was a specific external event - I had been digging into my self-concept and my behaviours since 2015 (as part of my journey to understand my father and his side of the family; they are complex and have many psychological and psychiatric challenges) - but I do know that in 2019, I reached a point where I decided to reach out for help about my addiction. I got in touch with a sex addiction recovery clinic in my city, and that was the beginning of my journey.
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Hi there. I’m 18 months sober after struggling with alcohol for 10 years. I participate in AA and the luckiest club. I have no desire to drink. I’m incredibly blessed. I owe that to my higher power.

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AA worked for me as it has for thousands of people all over the world ,but what ever keeps you sober then that great .

Hello and welcome!

Your question is a good one.

What worked for me:

I had an extreme approach when it came to quitting meth. The first weeks of my sobriety I allowed myself to hang out with my friends while they would still use because I needed to know for myself that I could say “NO” (I don’t recommend this strategy) but I knew I was done with meth in my soul. The events that led up to it gave me the strength to face it all head on. (Once again for the record, I do not recommend this strategy. ) Once I was able to prove to myself I could say “NO” it became vastly earlier in the social aspect. Due to the fact I had the “no” wins under my belt. And while the social aspect is the biggest hurdle for most, mine was the emotional adjustment.
Learning how to feel, properly react and process emotions was MY biggest challenge. For the first 30 days I cried A LOT.
Eventually, things start to fall in place as you acclimate to a “normal” life.

2: I noticed an actual shift about two years in when I stopped counting days. My life was no longer about the AMOUNT of sober time I was living and switched to ACTUALLY living. I believe it is an organic change most people go thru, as the survival mode grows and transforms into living. Where one day at a time turns into wow how many days has it been?! Lol.

I apologize for the long read. It wasn’t my intention going into this question.

I thank you for posing the question because it took me down the journey of my own recovery and brought me to a place of reflection

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It sounds like fellowship and accountability are really important to you Matt. Thanks so much for sharing glimpses of your recovery with me. I particularly admire the intimate conversations you have with your spouse.

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18months is amazing!
I’m really glad AA works for you Lee but I’m even more excited that your desires are gone.

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Thanks for your response Ray!
I’m a new mum so my number 1 drive is to stay sober & see the year out and go from there.

Don’t apologise for sharing your heart.
While I don’t know you, I am so proud of you for facing your addiction so boldly (although not recommended). I also appreciate the fact that one of the biggest hurdles was adjusting your emotions. I feel the same & it’s particularly hard with a little one where mum guilt is real :smiling_face_with_tear::smiling_face_with_tear:.

Thank you for being vulnerable in this space and for being honest.

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