Hey guys, i don’t really wish to tell to much about my identity, maybe its just that im not ready for others to really know my struggle with drug abbuse. For over a year now I have found myself growing addicted to the abbuse of adderall. I do not have Adhd, but at the time i began taking it because part of me thought i could control my intake of the drug and only use it for finals in school and nothing more, but as the months progressed I now realise looking back I only lied to myself that I was in control when really it had grown to a dangerously frequent addiction and reliance of the drug and I have tried so many times to quit and I have been successful for short periods of time but i feel so lost because I have no one to talk to about it. And if i told my dad, he would just kick me out on the street. I will be graduating in 2 months but i just want to be free of this evil addiction and i just need someone to talk to please. I dont want to be reported or condemned for my wrongful actions of abbusing this drug, but if theirs someone who actually is willing to talk to me I would be so grateful.
Hey. I don’t know much about Adderal personally but I figured I’d at least respond. I did have a lot of friends when I was in high school that were addicted to it and a few when I was college age. I also knew a lot of people who may or may not have been addicted to it and used it to maintain an active social life and also make grades or work crazy hours. I lived in a city that had two national government labs and so many of those adults would use crank to make it through ridiculous deadlines with 90 hour work weeks. Those who could would get scripts of Adderal or Ritalin for their kids and take those. In their twisted way it made them feel like they “weren’t as bad” as the ones using crank. It was REALLY weird to grow up around this.
But I do understand part of what went on in their heads. My friends in high school just wanted the speed like effects. But the ones in college felt they needed the extra help because the demands of full time students and trying to be able to have some life outside of school. I never went to college but I saw how insane it was. And those adults with the crazy job and kids, well, I can’t imagine. I’m pretty sure my own dad used somethings to make those deadlines. How not?
In a society that can’t slow down I feel like this is a much bigger problem than anyone wants to talk about. I don’t know what the help available looks like but I’m sure it’s out there. I was addicted to anxiety meds that I was prescribed and I know that there is so little out there about it, and it’s frustrating! Hopefully you can find something around here to help you out! Maybe try searching the forum for this topic to see what comes up?
Sorry I’m not more help. But I do understand the realness of what you are going through!
I was on adderal/stimulants for several years. I used them to stay awake while on opiates or suboxone, basically to fight the nods and be functional. It was a rather toxic deal, even when i was using them less than prescribed. In my opinion, it wasnt the side effects or cravings that caused the most problems. It was the daily reinforced notion that i needed them to be at my peak performance/stay competitive in life. I.e., without them i simply wasnt good enough.
Concentration is a paramount trait of a pharmacist. And when i got off of the stims, i had to learn how to concentrate all over again. And trust me, after over a year clean, im still struggling with concentration. Although it has markedly improved with time.
Its a very hard cycle to break away from. When i went to rehab, i slept for most of the first 4 days. It seems like once i got on that path, there was never a good time to quit, because life never slows down, it only gets more complicated and demanding. But i Finally did, and now, im in a much better place to live life on life’s terms.