Addicted to all highs


#1

I’d take anything that could give me a buzz. and I mean ANYTHING. if I were desperate enough, I’d probably drink diesel out of a jerry can. now im trying to embrace sobriety but the withdrawals are getting me down. physical withdrawals i can take. but the mental and emotional part is hard. how does everyone else deal with recovery?? what motivates you guys to stay clean?? i try and think about how disgusting it is to be so helplessly addicted to highs but that doesn’t always seem to stop me. I get obsessive thoughts about getting high. which is the main thing that drives me to use. now im just trying to use pure will power to stay sober. it’s really hard. especially when I’m surrounded by users who don’t think they have a problem. or surrounded by people (sober or not) who don’t believe i have a problem.


#2

Well one thing I can see immediately is that you’re still hanging out with users. That’s not gonna end well. If you hang out in a barbershop you’re gonna end up getting a haircut.

Handling the physical withdraw gives you a good start but you are absolutely correct in needing to handle the mental as well. AA and NA are good programs for that bc you’re surrounded by people just like you who have learned to live an awesome life without using. There’s also awesome literature from both programs that can get you through the time between meetings. They have meetings in a lot of countries so you are probably in luck there. If a meeting is far away online options exist and I know you can get on the internet lol.


#3

I use the word awesome to much. You guys need to start calling me out on that. Makes me look like a door to door salesman.


#4

Focusing on the empty stuff, like a pothole, creates void. Add things in. Change the channel in your mind to anything except your thoughts. For me, that was a lot of music and recovery speaker recordings listened to while walking everywhere in the beginning.

People getting high around you constantly will not help. You need some sober support. You will read around here of many support groups. I like AA because it is free and widley available.

Don’t expect much of yourself in the beginning. Lots of days will feel like fails because you didn’t clean your bathroom or get a job or see your kids or make your significant other love you again or whatever. Just be sober. Whatever it takes to not use and have a sober day is all you need to expect of yourself.


#5

Also this forum is enter synonym for awesome because you can get good advice and have fun. There’s plenty of threads that aren’t necessarily recovery related but are more focused on fellowship and friendship. I have a very active social life right now and still make sure I get a couple hours a day on here cutting it up with the gang lol.

Yinz (@Modestakieran that’s for you) know who I’m talking about :grin:


#6

the thing is, some of these users include my family. no running away from that. I do have the NA “bible” and I do have a couple of recovering friends that i reach out too as well. but I’m not so keen on attending a meeting. just not comfortable with the idea just yet. but talking here doesnt intimidate me at all hahaa


#7

music definitely helps!


#8

They are about staying sober! It is talkingsober.com if I am sober and I am talking it counts. We don’t get sober to do nothing but talk program and people see that in the cut up threads. “I wonder what people in recovery talk about?” “Getting sober will be boring AF and I don’t think I will ever be mentally stimulated again!” These other threads speak directly to those common comcerns, imo.


#9

You’d be surprised who you can cut out when it comes down to recovery. When the pain becomes too great and we become willing to do whatever it takes recovery is then possible. If you want just try sitting in on a meeting. You don’t have to share.


#10

You can totaly distance toxic family for at least a while. Lots of us have had to do it in the process of learning to make boundries.

NA is not the only program out there. Finding sober community is going to be very helpful. If you would do ANYTHING to get fucked up then you need to consider doing the same thing for sobriety.


#11

That’s a much better way of saying what I was trying to say lol. You’re so loquacious (word of the day alert, even though I didn’t use it quite right…)


#12

u are absolutely right.


#13

did i just reply myself… hahahaa this was for u c-sun


#14

No, you tossed it to me. :grin: You got the hang of it.


#15

You only quoted yourself.


#16

Welcome to the forum. If it is sobriety that you seek, this is a good beginning.

You have to embark on the path to self-mastery. This begins with self-discipline. You need to take a self-inventory, and be brutally honest with yourself. Notice I keep using the word “Self”? Sobriety is about YOU! Your decision. Your walk. Your failures and your victories. If your friends and family are using, you need to get some space between you and them, until such time that you have developed enough self-discipline, have established a sober support network (which can be as few as one or two hardcore sober accountability partners), that you can be around your family. Your friends that are using? DX them.

If you want to be clean and sober, you can be clean and sober. It is 100% your choice, and 100% within your ability to achieve. You just have to decide to get after it, and be willing to do anything, try anything to get clean and sober.

Find a meeting. Work a program. Find a sponsor. Live on this forum. Radically change your life, because it is indeed a matter of life or death. Realize and accept that you have a terminal illness. Addiction will kill you. Maybe slowly. Maybe quickly. But the road only goes to one place: death. Realize and accept that you have the power to send this terminal illness into permanent remission, by getting clean and sober. Something else may get you one day, but you can decide that is won’t be drugs or alcohol.

If it’s important we find a way. If it isn’t, we find an excuse.


#17

QUESTION. does the desire to use ever go away?? does the obsessive need to get high ever go away?? with time and will power i mean. if I stay sober long enough will i eventually stop feeling the need to get high? its a bloody irritating feeling


#18

I’m an alcoholic. I can report that after an 11 month relapse, sobriety finally stuck for me. I haven’t had a single urge to drink, since I decided to quit on December 3, 2017. None. Zilch. Nada.


#19

to be completely honest. I’m put off by most drugs now. and alcohol as well. because using these substances bring out the worst in me. I’ll never forget. but my real struggle now is with weed. it was an antidote to all other drug/alcohol related problems and discomforts. heck, it was an antidote to all life problems or discomforts :joy: unfortunately, i HAVE to stay sober. it has become a problem because I let my life revolve around weed. i put weed before everything else. I refused to do anything sober. i lie to feed my addiction. which means it has gotten just as bad as any addiction minus the insanity that comes with most other drug/alcohol use. or maybe that’s just me?


#20

That was a hard one for me. I couldn’t sit down to piss without doing a bowl hit. I have not smoked pot in almost 4 1/2 years. 6-8 months later it was easier and I stopped coughing up resin balls. 15 months later I could have thoughts about it without it hijacking my mind. Now, I rarely think about it.

It goes but not fast and not like magic. I didnt work a program for that and it was very hard. I smoked all day every day for over 15 years. It may have been easier with a program. I did start drinking when I quit smoking. That was bad. I have now not drank in 13 months and am very content with my sober life. White knuckling is signature for sober but untreated. Just not feeding the beast is not enough. Substance abuse is a symptom of deeper problems and working a program helps identify and work on them. We can then live a reasonably happy life sober.