From what my therapist told me i havent been giving my relationships my all. Have not given it to my gfs or anything but porn. I basically always held back because of fear an judgement my lack of experience with women made me very withholding even in my relationships i just felt i couldnt be honest about my life or relationship with porn or my fantasies because i didnt want to be judged harshly. With porn i see i was selfish because there were no mistakes all fantasies are there at the click of a mouse, no awkwardness, no nervousness because the screen wouldnt judge. Sigh i feel awful reflecting on this that i jus wasnt open an didnt give these women my all an thats probably all it took pure honesty an my whole being. But i never would have seen it if my therapist didnt break it down for me
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