Hi here is my story:
I have addiction in the genes. Grandparents, uncles and aunts who drank to excess. I somehow felt that I wasn’t going to be affected by it, but low and behold I wasn’t immune.
I began drinking in my teens and quickly made it part of my lifestyle. Parties, gatherings, visits to friends all involved some form of drinking. I began smoking weed too.
About 5 years ago it began to increase. A drink and/or a smoke at least every 2nd day. I told myself that it was only one or two drinks and that the weed was ‘natural’ so it couldn’t be bad.
Oh how wrong I was…
I was still physically active, I went to work, I held up my responsibilities, but what I didn’t realise is that each day I was waiting for the moment I could drink and or smoke.
Normally rewarding activities brought no joy. I began to be on autopilot until I could have a fix.
In the last few months of using I started to notice a deep sense of paranoia whenever I got drunk or high. Somehow drinking and smoking just didn’t have the same effect anymore.
Then one day while taking care of chores I had a panic attack (I have been sober since) . This threw me into a deep dark state of emotion that I had never felt before. The severity of the attack lasted the whole day, which prompted me to visit the doctor. Fortunately the tests revealed that I was healthy, but I didn’t reveal to the doctor that I was using… I didn’t realise at that point that I had a problem.
That night I woke up at 1pm and vowed that I would not let this feeling beat me. I started investigating, researching and reflecting. Soon enough I realised that I had a problem. That I had built a life that revolved around drinking, smoking and pleasure. Normal life just didn’t seem the same… My brains wiring was messed up.
I suffered intensely for 4 weeks: Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, sleepless nights, crying and feeling numb.
But through it all I didn’t ever give up hope. I believed I would beat this.
Now here I am, 7 weeks clean and feeling better than ever. I don’t have cravings and I can feel that my brain is in a healthy state.
So what helped me?
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God: In my 2nd week of sobriety God found me. I had a severe breakdown and a close friend prayed with me. With tears streaming down my face I realised that God was calling me back. That he didn’t want me living the life I was. Daily Bible study and prayer has connected me with Christ.
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Journaling: Keeping a record of my feelings, my research and daily accomplishments was essential to my recovery.
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Running and skipping: I skipped for 2min every time I felt low…it was my anti-anxiety pill. I started to run for 30min a day. I believe these two had a profound effect on my emotions and the speed at which I recovered.
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Bed time hygiene: I kept the bed for sleep only. Stopped using devices an hour before bed. Read lighthearted books for 30min before bed. Good sleep is essential to recovery.
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Diet: I wasn’t hungry for the first 4 weeks but I decided that eating good food was necessary. Out with junk food and in with lots of fruit and vegetables
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Family and friends: I revealed to my close family and friends that I had a problem. They were all very supportive and still are today.
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Counseling: I spoke to a registered counselor who was able to give me advice that stemmed from years of experience. They also listen very well which is important for getting things off your chest.
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Routine: I needed to let my body and mind know that a change was happening and that it was for the best. By sticking to a routine I found a sense of stability.
If you read all of that, thank you. I hope that my story can provide at least 1 person with hope that there is a better life at the end of drug and alcohol abuse.
Thanks be to God.
