Just a question- I’ve seen a few posts here about being addicted to sex, and I’m kind of thinking it might be the same with food- I’m not arguing that it can’t be an addiction, but how do you deal with an addiction when it’s also a basic human need? Like, are you never going to have sex or masturbate again? I can’t understand how it can be a program of abstinence in the way that drugs or alcohol can be?
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I think it’s like anything else that consumes our lives and then the feelings attached when we lose self control.
And we can’t discount how damaging sex can be. A short period of time with the wrong person can have long term negative effects. And to get into a pattern of that behavior can crush our self worth.
It’s the internal battle between our carnality and our holy spirit.
I don’t suffer from sex addiction, but there was a decade or so where I didn’t turn any girl down. And I ran with a group where that was totally excepted and encouraged. But when it was quiet and I was alone, I could hear my inner Spirit…and I was ashamed.
Always remember that we are beautiful and wonderfully made. A gift that is not meant to be given away.
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Addiction is a symptom, aND our brain is a big part of it. Also when it comes to sex … good or bad …
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When it comes to food addiction, you have to stop eating the types of food that are triggering your eating disorder, not all food cause cravings, so it can be done, when it comes to sex addiction, I was wondering that myself, it must be very hard.
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I think it would be addiction if you engage in dangerous behavior. Like random partners or if you let it consume you. Self destructive behavior like cheating on someone you love.
But when you’re in a healthy relationship there’s no guilt or shame so it’s okay to engage with that person because you’re not negatively impacting your life or disrespecting yourself emotionally or physically.
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Hey @Marie_J_Neal. Thanks for relighting the thread. I didn’t notice it before.
Let me share a little of my experience…
I’m not addicted to healthy sex. I’m addicted to it’s counterfeit. This counterfeit is solely about the physical experience. There is no emotional bond. There is no commitment. It is not monogamous. I do not need to know the person in order to get a sex fix with her. It’s been my heaven. And for a long time, it was the only sex I knew. Pornography mirrors that same physical desire for sex that I considered was reality. While some people look at porn, and see violence and brutality, I confused myself into thinking that this is actually healthy. That people are actually making love on film. And that thinking led me into degenerative and destructive behaviors.
So when people talked about sex, about how good it is, or how it’s a need, guess what fueling, entitling ideas went through my head… I’ll give you a hint, it starts with a P.
For most of my life, the idea of sex being something more than a physical experience did not compute to me. Emotional bond? Love? Connection? Huh? That didn’t even sound attractive to me at all.
So the transition from unhealthy to healthy is very challenging and painful for me. Just like a drug addict has to surrender his/her privilege to get high, or the alcoholic has to surrender his/her privilege to get drunk. It’s really not that different for me. I have to surrender my drug. And embracing healthy sexuality has it’s good points, but it does not offer the same narcotic experience as when I’m acting out via my unhealthy sexual behaviors.
By the way, sex is an important key to developing intimacy, trust, and bonding between two committed people. But it is not a basic need in a physical sense. The desire is strong, but one does not need sex solely for the physical release. If someone is not in a relationship, that person will not explode from living a celebate lifestyle. That’s a big lie that a sex or porn addict has to overcome. And until I accepted that and surrendered my privilege to get “sex”, I was not open to see what sex and love for what they truly are.
So to me, it really does not feel like moderation because healthy and unhealthy sexuality are so completely different.
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Addiction is anything that negatively impacts you. People are late to work becsuse they would rather masturbate thats a negative impact
Others eat more then they should which directs you towards gaining weigh or becoming overweight.
In the end if you rely on something that is negatively impact you, you see it affecting others around you, that is an addiction. We have to learn how to control or for some completely stop in order to deal with an addiction