Question out there for anyone who can reach out and answer my thought processes in recovery.
Lil over 90 days soberity both off drugs and narcotics. Have stayed true to my honesty in recover found myself once again. See now I’m starting to want dating and have a relationship. Is it possible to date someone that uses or drinks occasionally knowing you have that will power to stay clean. Have relationships like this work out for anyone in the past? Is it my demon trying to mask itself and set me up to fail. Do i just continue to keep to myself and my recovery. Any advice is welcome just wanna hear some thoughts from others that have been in the same position
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I was dating someone who drinks. Shes not alcoholic. She sometimes binge drinks, but mostly a couple of drinks here and there.
I went to Hawaii with her. It was a treat i bought with the money I saved from drinking. I had been 7 months sober, and I went on the trip with every intention of not drinking.
I had never been completely honest with her about my drinking. She knew I quit but I never told her why. I didnt want to scare her away. I really liked her.
I went to the rest room and when I came back she had ordered a shot and a beer for each of us. I reluctantly drank it. I had no defense against it. I wasnt even prepared for this scenario.
I couldnt stop. I made an ass out of myself and and blacked out. The next day I was painfully hungover, and got to hear about how shitty I was. Now she knew about my alcoholism.
I quit drinking, but she continue to have a couple of drinks here and there. We were on vacation, and “normal” people like to drink and relax on vacation.
Here I was doing something nice for myself for staying sober, and I let someone ruin it. It wasnt a total disaster, but it would have been alot funner if I went by myself and didnt drink at all.
I think its a slippery slope.
I saw her again a month ago. She offered me a beer. I dont know if she was testing me or just being polite and offering because she wanted one.
I didnt drink the beer and dont feel inclined to ask her out again.
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For me, being in a relationship in general (normal person or non-drinker/sober/abstinent etc) isn’t a good idea at this point. I still have a few positive coping habits to make second nature and a few more “issues” with myself that I need to work out… Mostly like codependency, paranoia, trust issues, low self esteem etc.
Anywho, I would reflect on that for yourself and see if you’re even ready to be in a ‘emotional rollercoaster’ situation.
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I think this is a great question to reflect on!
Why are you wanting to be in a relationship? I feel like I might be projecting on you, I’m totally not trying to, and I’m sorry if I am!
Whenever I’d really think about why I wanted to be in a relationship (at this point) the answer was always to fill something that was lacking in my life that I wasn’t addressing. Like, I wanted validation, I wanted love, I was bored etc…I was searching for these things outside of me because I wasn’t providing them for myself. So until the answer to why I want to be in a relationship is…I dunno lol, I’ve never really been in a situation where I feel emotionally/mentally stable… I’m sure I’ll know it when the time comes, but I’ll probably stay single until then.
Good luck to you 
I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.
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Dam sorry to hear that. Gives me a good poimt of view
Can barely handle my craves when they hit on some rainy days
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Dam you kind just read my mind. Yeah i do feel lonely lile i want someone elses love.
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We pride you
I’m struggling with the same thing rn. I want to keep being sweet with someone, but they’re not on the same wavelength as me as far as being sober and wanting to be. I know that in my addiction, I will use any excuse to justify drinking or using, and being around someone that is, is a pretty surefire way for me to want to do it too. I’m thinking that for me, it’s not going to work out as it stands in this moment. Good luck to you 
try to think about what will keep you safe and happy.
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Thanks i felt that I’ll take that advice