I didnt no if I was going to be comfortable discussing my addiction but the past 24 hours chatting on here in group discussions has really opened me up to the idea i have been struggling with a addiction to cocain for 13 years the past 5 years it has taken two homes from me and almost my job twice I’m currently on probation at work due to my addiction I had a breaking point 2 days ago and decided Wednesday night was my last night o woke up Thursday with a hangover but a fresh mind to knowing what I want in life I will be 31 on tuesday and I have nothing to show for my life except for two beautiful children who mean more to me then any high ever could today I’m not hungover today is normally a big party night for me… Pay day luckily I am off on vacation so did not get paid but not having money doesn’t normally mean I cant get high… I’m confident in what I want I’m just struggling with urges I used daily $100 or more per night this will be my second night not using but officially only one day clean I still havent cleaned out my drawers filled with old party bags o dont no if it’s a good idea to even try to clean it out today I’m trying to do things to occupy my brain but it’s hard especially during covid19 being home all the time with not much to do having other people in my house who are using makes it even harder I feel secluded to my room
Wow hey, you sound literallt sound just like me. I’m 30 years old, 2 beautiful girls.
I started cocaine when I was 21, I told myself I’d never touch the shit my whole life. But I was drunk one night, cousin offered it and said yeah fuck it. Well was just a weekend thing, then a everyday thing and completely took over my life. Stopped paying bills, put myself 60,000 in debt, did coke in the bathroom when my daughter was being born at the hospital. I mean literally everything, the shit isn’t even fucking fun and I knew it every time I was doing it. Waking up wanting to kill myself untill finally I tried killing myself. I had actually recently found my old coke straws that I had hid inside a toilet paper roll.
Yeah I’d definitely clean out your drawer, stay away from ppl you obviously used with, it’s a instant trigger. Definitely get rid of dealers number, and just be prepared to make some pretty huge but doable changes. Money may be a lil trigger, but if you don’t trust yourself I’d give it to someone who you can trust with it. And even take 100 and instead of coke, go treat yourself to some new perfume, shampoo, makeup, clothes. You’ll love that and it will feel good. One way I knew I wasn’t ready to stop before, was ppl suggested give you’re money to someone if you don’t trust yourself. I’d always say no no that’s fucking ridiculous I can do this, then get paid and geuss what. There goes my 600 dollar check. But yeah seriously coke took everything from me I’m 30 living at home with mommy. Went from beautiful trucks, cars, apartment, amazing credit, jobs. And it took it all. If you drink alcohol I’d give that up, if you’re anything like me 4 beers in and the coke starts calling. Feel free to message me anytime, I also would stick on this app and check in daily. Don’t knock a n.a meeting, they will help. Yes it seems scary, but winners do what they have to. Losers do what they want
Congratulations on getting clean and sober! I know it’s hard as hell but you’re doing it keep reaching out you’re in my prayers