Thank you to everyone for replies, that’s exactly how I feel, I may be able to be a nitnalish drinker a few times but eventually I will back out and ruin my life somehow!! 
I wish you well and happy Ur now sober and living Ur best life xx
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Thanku all for Ur replies, absolutely spot on a d I really appreciate each and everyone of you x
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Well done, I hope to feel the same as you, u must feel brilliant 
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You are not crazy @Louise1 but alcohol is cunning. Think well why you decided in the past to stop. Nothing really good happens if you drink but something bad may happen if you drink.
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Thats the exact thing that happens to me.
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Late reply but yessss- that stupid voice oh now & then have a glass …. It’s a crap shoot. & swear the devil. Alcohol esp gals is baby showers to after work. Hair, gals lunch, nails - constant ! Of course we think & romantic thoughts - it’s Poison or blood in a glass - we all get the crazy thoughts !! One day they will be rare & sobriety a habit !
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Sure perhaps you’re heard the Very old saying
“ first the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink , then the drink takes the man (woman). Thats the sickness/ we all feel it ! Think this is old Chinese saying !
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There is always something isn’t there, we totally romanticise alcohol bit the reality is very different!! Xx
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Yup Louise - esp us gals - relax to feel romantic, see on every ad, in movies either gals together or a man holding wine & flowers , to hair salon & nails , offer free alcohol …good grief ! I get it 
crazy world once you’re sober see it … too much numbing around .