No one is asking you to leave, sometimes if you ask questions and we only get one side of the story you may not like the answers.
I have been given some hard truths before and it help me understand that I’m not always right and I need to look at myself too.
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“@BJM my apologies for healing myself and trying to help others. I’m out. It was nice to meet you all. Good luck.”
That is one sarcastic and manipulative remark. I’ve been reading too and I caught on to what @BJM said from the start. There is a very thin line between true addiction, an unhappy person and just a serial cheater. I worry about you more than I worry about your husband (from what you’re saying). Setting yourselves free from one another may just be best thing you can do for your family. I do however feel that you do need support, but not sure this is the right group for you. Good luck and take care of yourself
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I hope you reconsider and stay. If you’re not getting the support you need concerning your husband’s issues, at least stay and get the support for your own substance use. Many of us turned to unhealthy coping skills when life got lifey that eventually led to full blown addiction. Stick around and learn from others.
I know you mentioned you live in the county so it’s a challenge for your husband to get to in person meetings. Here’s a link to a platform that has all types of meetings. Specially SAA meetings are held on Friday nights at 8pm EST. If he can’t get to his usual zoom meeting, maybe he can give this one a try?
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I brought up your drinking and drug use because you mentioned it after you described yourself as a recovering alcoholic… it’s not for me to judge who does and who doesn’t belong here. However, this is an abstinence-based community and reading posts where someone states they’re an alcoholic and then gleefully explains how they’re able to successfully moderate in the same paragraph could be harmful for those in early recovery. Some on here will say moderation is impossible for addicts. I personally think it’s too much of a headache to bother. If it works for you… great. But an abstinence forum is probably not the best place to celebrate it.
You don’t have to explain your drug and alcohol use to me or anyone. I only brought it up because you mentioned it.
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Life is messy sometimes and people are definitely messy AF. Relationships are challenging for everyone. I didn’t read this whole thread, but I did see you getting some heat and I know that can make us feel like running off. I hope you stay. While this forum is abstinence based, there is space here for everyone … because we have all been in the place of working our shit out. That said, we do have a few rules around talking about using. You are at where you are at and I think you came here for support. We can support you where you are at without impressing our personal beliefs on you. I hope you will stick around and find some support here. I hope too that you are taking care of yourself and not just him. He is responsible for his stuff and you are responsible for your stuff. You are allowed and should be encouraged to have your own life and interests outside of your relationship…truly that is a healthy way to be. Be well. Hope to see you around. 
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