My name is Alex I’m 35 from the U.K married with two wonderful children.
My last drink was on the 27th of September. I went out with guys from work for a meal and a drink. Short story it ended messy for me, I drank all through the night in bars and did not return home until 7:30 in the mornin, missed work and the world came crashing down.
This story is not uncommon for me it’s my cycle of abuse with drink.
I am not the stereotypical alcoholic people imagine up. I can have two beers and go to bed with 4 beers left in the fridge. I can have two pints then drive home and not drink anymore when I get home. BUT! If I go past a certain point I lose all control and will carry on abusing until there is nowhere left to go and get a drink.
I will also do anything whilst drunk in terms of drugs, getting into fights and promiscuous behaviours.
This cycle has lost me jobs and potential careers, lost me friends and even lead me to prison on one occasion (could have been more than once).
I built my life back up and managed to get a career a wonderful partner and start a family. During the last 10 years there have been numerous occasions were I could have destroyed all that but by luck or a guardian angel (depending on your perspective) I have not!
I do know that I am on borrowed time however and if I do not get this monkey off my back once and for all I will at some point destroy that which is so precious to me.
Last year I joined AA and was sober for almost a year. I felt like the AA did not always talk to someone with my type of addiction issue but I can not get away from the fact that whilst I went I did not drink and that period of ye was the longest since been a teenager.
I have been reading about SMART Recovery and the techniques they use and my searching also brought me here.
Thanks for reading and any advice is welcome