Today I feel scared as if I’m going to get loaded for some reason. I am going through a lot of life changes and recovering from lots of trauma . The type that 80% of others probably wouldn’t understand. I am about 5 months clean and sober and just am afraid of fucking up my sobriety somehow.
Grrr help
Thx
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Agreed, meeting are a good place to start. If you’re into reading there are plenty of great resources. Naked Mind or Russel Brand are both good starters.
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You reached out. That’s huge.
I can’t imagine you’re struggles and journey. I can only tell you that for me, I KNOW my journey is going to be so so so VERY HEAVY when out comes to the trauma and emotional healing part. I’m only on day 3…but I know it’s coming.
Do you have a person in real life you can hang with…reach out to?
I’m…we…are here, if you need/want to chat.
You are not alone in this
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I am here too. You’ve got this!
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Perhaps make a plan for what you will do instead of using. Find people to be around who will support you, go sit all day in a busy coffee shop, go to a movie, exercise, find an NA clubhouse and talk with people who will understand.
When I have felt like this, I have to remember that no one is going to pour vodka down my throat. If I drink, it is ultimately because I chose to. I can’t drink today, no matter what.
I don’t know what horrible things you have endured. What I do know is that you deserve better than to go back to a life of using. You deserve to feel peace in your life. You deserve a chance at the rest of your life being far better than the first part - and those things only happen when we are clean and sober.
If things get bad, reach out here. You have a whole lot of folks behind you who will help get you through
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Man at 628 days I still have a very healthy fear that today is the day I shit on all the progress I’ve made.
I allow myself these feelings to happen, acknowledge them because it very well could happen. Then I move on. I do something for my wife, I get on here and try to help someone, I make a meeting and offer a ride home, I do something for someone else to get out of myself.
You only gotta stay sober today, if you’re sober today you’re a success. You’ve done it for a few days in a row, you can do it for today too.
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Thanks so much guys! I’m taking your advice and will be having dinner with a friend tonight, I’m still sober and today Mark’s my 5 months exactly 
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Check back in later today. We’ll be here.
Yay way to go!
Great to hear - and huge congrats on five months!
You fear losing that which you have grown to cherish. Perfectly natural. Guard it, as you would your child or mate. Keep pouring into it, pressing forward.
Most things fall apart not from some deliberate act. No. They fall apart when neglected or taken for granted.
But you won’t neglect your sobriety. You fear losing it, because you cherish it. It represents freedom.
And the price freedom is eternal vigilance. Remain vigilant and you will remain sober.
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Thanks so much for caring ladies and gentleman, I am here moving forward one day at a time 
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