Ahem. Hello again

It’s been quite a month so far. Aug 1 my husband said he wanted a divorce. I said I wanted to go back to couples counseling and he wanted a divorce instead. So I had a few drinks with a friend on two occasions that week, figuring adult supervision would keep me in check and I “deserved” to let go a bit. It seemed ok at the time, but I felt ill and guilty after. Only had 2 drinks each time, but I was incapable of just having one, which is my problem. I’m tiny tho, and on my meds 2 feels like 4. Yesterday I saw my “was-band” (new favorite term) for the first time since I left and it threw me off, so I let myself have a night out alone. I only had two beers again, but I was loaded. These meds are no joke and I was not myself at all. I woke up feeling SO sick and so unhappy with myself. I know I don’t want to drink. I know I can’t physically or emotionally handle it like a"normal" person. I was leading myself on and not resetting my day counter, but this morning at 5am I rolled over to my phone and hit restart. I have to stop this before it gets worse. I’m alone now: living alone, no family in the state, and no friends living close by, but regardless I cannot expect other ppl to be responsible for my behavior and well-being. I want to be self-sufficient, and I won’t be for long if I don’t quit this. So here i am again. Happy to be here, and will be even happier when my headache goes away.

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Sorry to hear about the hard time you’re having… but well done on holding yourself accountable and coming back here and trying again. It’s never easy when you don’t have family or a lot of other folks around, that I get as I don’t either… but you have us! Keep coming back. You can do this!

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Hey, you’re going to be alright. You can beat this. If you didn’t think you had a chance of doing that,you would’nt bother being here. You’ve had some tough breaks recently, you’re due for better times. I won’t say luck,because you have to make this happen. Stay strong and hang on to the bull.

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Thank you for the encouragement. Resetting is hard, but I know I’ll get back to where I was before this and keep going. The support here is awesome.