My name is Sarah. I am 24 years old. I started binge drinking when I was 16. It was not that big of a deal. I didn’t drink often but when I did I couldnt stop til I passed out. At age 19 I got into a toxic relationship and he drank everyday. I started to drink with him. We broke up a little over a year ago. I just never stopped and it has gotten worse I drink everyday after work (a couple of shots and beers) and I get hammered on the weekends. I feel like I cant live a regular life and I cant be happy sober. I now rely on alcohol to mask my stress and anxiety. This weekend I was supposed to have a good time out of town and I was excited. Me and my friend made a stop on our trip at a casino to use the restroom and play one slot machine. We ended up staying there for 5 hours. I blacked out and gambled 600 dollars that I shouldn’t have spent. I hit a wall and had a mental break down after realizing what I did. Alcohol controls me and I’m young and I dont want to live my life like this. I’m so ashamed that I did that. And I have a problem. I dont have withdrawls or anything but i mentally rely on it and its ruining my life. My emotions are altered by it. I just want to stop it’s just so hard.
Welcome to the group @Sarah_j. This is a great place to start. I would recommend reading as much as you possibly can, I think you will find lots of people you can relate to and a lot of good, time tested advice 
Hi and welcome, glad you found us!
This app is a great tool if you use it in his full potentional. So come here often! Read, vent, ask for help when you need it. There is allways someone to talk to.
Maybe you have to write down how you feel now and why you want to quit. In a while your head is starting to tell you your drinking wasn’t that bad and you can have one. Then you read this paper you have in your wallet and know your head/addiction voice is lying!
Try a meeting they help wish you well
It is so hard, Sarah. Sometimes we have to work to unlock the reasons why we drink in order to know how to stop. Some folks here go to AA meetings, others go to SMART meetings. Some go to rehab to get sober if they need to, to start. Some just quit - there is no “right way” - it just starts with you deciding not to drink, and then doing everything in your power from that moment on to support that decision. That’s what this forum, AA, SMART, therapy, self work, etc. are for. You can do it. It will be hard, but you can and we are all here for you.
Set some goals you would like to achieve and get after them. We obviously wont if we continue to use. Smaller goals to reach bigger goals. Maybe a career change or a hobby. Dont sell yourself short believe n achieve…learn to love yourself ,be independent ,and confident in who you are now.
Welcome to the group, Sarah! The biggest thing you can do for yourself is self work and figuring out the why behind your drinking. I drank because I have anxiety and I didn’t want to deal with hard emotions. Like others have mentioned, there are different paths to take. I personally have never gone to an AA meeting and have no desire to. I’m just not a meeting type of person, but maybe you are! I journal a lot and I’ve gotten a lot firmer with my spiritual beliefs.
I’m 31 and I spent most of my 20s drunk. I hated that about myself. It feels physically, mentally, emotionally SO MUCH BETTER being sober. I feel like I’m actually living my life now. Doing things I never thought I could do. Please reach out if you want someone to talk to. You’re absolutely worth it and deserve to live your best life.
Hello Sarah…
It’s great that you are here.
Feelings of shame can be crippling. Try to use the feeling to reinforce why you don’t want to drink anymore, but don’t let it overwhelm you or color your sense of worth.
We are here for you.
Hey Sarah…you took the first step and joined this forum. Welcome! I’m only a little older than you so I can truly relate. I started drinking heavily at 18 in college with a girlfriend for fun and everyone else retreated back and I just kept moving forward with drinking. It went from weekends to everyday to all day everyday. Until I got diagnosed at age 27 in November with liver cirrhosis. Was told I was going to need a liver transplant and would die if I didn’t stop drinking. But I couldn’t. I like to say I was drunk since I was 18 so I didn’t know how to live a life without the bottle, but I will tell you this. 4 months and some change free of alcohol, it is possible. My anxiety has dissipated, I have never been happier and I have control of my life. You just need the right support and the right tools to get you there. Begin by pouring out any alcohol you have in your house and starting a new plan. A new life plan. You have to begin by setting goals and making a list of what you want to do differently and what you want to achieve by getting sober. Attend an AA meeting. It’ll give you the foundation in which you’ll need to find the ability to stay sober. I’m here if you need to talk as I feel I can really relate to you. You’re not alone. Keep your head up
Hi Sarah and welcome, I too am a binge drinker and hit rock bottom 39 days ago, the shame and disgust in my self were all consuming. I made a list of all thsse horrible nasty side effects of drinking which helps keep me focused on not drinking today. One day st a time you can fight this and I have found my depression and anxiety is 100 times better in sobriety. X