@Oliverjava wrote a post about changing your perspective. As a photographer, I know first hand just how important perspective is and how it relates to a whole. The way we perceive things doesn’t always reflect an honest reality of how things truly are so I took the time to meditate on my perspective of alcohol and just how distorted my perception has become.
To some very fortunate people alcohol is what it is; a beverage that can be enjoyed moderately to enhance a meal, a social situation, lighten a mood, or to take the edge off after a long day. Unfortunately, since my very first sip of alcohol it was clear I was not one of these fortunate people. Alcohol wasn’t just a beverage, it was the piece of myself that I had been missing for 16 years…my soulmate. One sip of Corona and I felt something love me and the more I drank the more whole I felt. This feeling of happiness, lightness, and belonging came over me and I fully committed to a relationship with a beverage… a very dysfunctional and abusive one at that. Like any abusive relationship, no matter how much Alcohol hurt me I would only remember the good. I didn’t focus on the fact that it helped me total my car, put others in danger, harmed my body, took my money, cost me friends and family, stole my dignity, ruined my reputation, and altered my personality… I just remembered how good it made me feel for that brief and fleeting moment when all is well in the world and everything is as it should be.
So there it is. I’ve changed my perspective on how I view alcohol. On this journey towards abstinence and recovery, I will see Alcohol not as a drug but as an abusive relationship that I must get out of lest it kill me. As anyone who’s ever been in an abusive relationship knows, they are almost impossible to get out of so I enlisted Google to help me figure out how. Heres what it said,
- Recognize the Signs
- Disengage
- Secretly Save Money
- Get Help
- Get Documentation
- Pack a SHTF Bag
- Have a Safe Word
- Have a Place to Go
- Call for Back-up
- Get a Restraining Order
- Take Time to Heal
These all metaphorically apply to me leaving Alcohol and since I’m replacing drinking with writing, I’ll elaborate on how in future posts.
️️:gift:
how persuasive and manipulative Alcohol is. Now that I’ve personified it- it makes me sick to think I’ve let it take so much from me! The 34 year old me is still very much functioning like the 16 year old that fell in love with the feeling.
