I’m so fustrated with myself for drinking last night! I kicked a really frantic cocain habit (1 year sober from that) and gave up smoking in March. I have no desire to go back to smoking or doing cocain. Alcohol seems to be the hardest demon to get rid of.
My husband is still addicted to the vices of our old life and it feels like drinking is all we have left in common. Seriously we have nothing else, no hobbies (I’ve tried but he refuses to go anywhere), no going out (we are always broke or he is recovering from a ‘heavy night’).
I’ve been quite lonely and bored as a result and spent a lot of time studying online this year. I ended up landing a great job, which was down to not getting high every weekend and actually up skilling 
.
But this has made him even more resentful towards me and he really makes a point to tell me i am boring or a nerd now. He accidently pocket dialed me and I overheard him saying a few nasty things about me to someone else.
I just keep falling back into drinking. Even telling myself to go 1 single month sober and I drink compulsively like it’s my last chance to.
Leave him. Simple as that really. Be sober and leave him. Make sure to love yourself everyday all the time. Do things that make you happy. Depend on only you. If he can’t support you or be happy for you than you have to be with someone who is. And right now that’s you. Fuck him. Really, this shit is making me mad. You are doing something incredible and beautiful. You are strong and deserve to feel loved. He doesn’t deserve you. So as I said before. Leave him.
Thanks for the support, planning on taking some time to myself and hopefully find my sober self
I can relate on the level of having an alcoholic husband. I know that he notices that I’m not drinking and it makes him angry. I don’t want to let on how difficult it has been because it would give him ammunition to use against me. last night he drank his 12 pack, and was obsessing about the state of the house. my 11 year old stood very close to me and said “don’t answer him. He is putting you on the spot. whatever answer you say will be wrong”. I’m sad that she has the wisdom she has had to gain, but I was so grateful that I hadn’t had any drinks and could be there for her 100%.
Wow @kjm. I am simply blown away by your daughter’s wisdom and insightfulness. She is very intelligent and deserves to live in a home that will nuture her to brilliance. She just might be the one that saves the world!
So true. Thank you.
I think you need to see if he wants to sober up and have a life with you or not. I’d tell him to pick either you or drugs id be to hard to stay with him and be clean if thats the life he wants.
Well, lets be rational. I interpret that he’s in the stage of active addiction. Everyone of us that knows addiction, knows you fk’ed up your priorities on several occasions. He hasn’t made a commitment to sobriety. Love can be a double edge sword no doubt. Depends who your cutting with it?
Granted your sobriety is your fight, and you need to make decisions based on your strength to overcome your addiction, not his.
Just leaving are thinking about leaving creates stress and financial concerns just in its self, which could easily cause a lapse or relapse even by yourself. When the trumpet of loneliness sounds who will you be? I don’t know you so only you can answer that question…
Start slow. Try and convince him not to drink certain days. If that works maybe no drinking for a week. Tell him your plan when he’s not drinking and when he isn’t hungover. Let him know how much this means to you.
If he’s completely unresponsive maybe you need to start an exit strategy. Preparation is key. The answer isn’t black and white.
Absolutely been there. Although I am a guy. Drinking is my vice. Been sober 60 days. Not really working a 12 Step program but I’m sober and finally happy about it. I’m here if you need to talk.
Been there so many times. I hate walking on egg shells, especially when my kids do as well. Nothing I, or the kids say, helps or is right. It’s a hard way to live but the great thing is you remained sober. It’s a lot easier for me to not engage in toxic conversations or arguments when I’m sober!
@DEM1423 it’s so true at this point if I want a sober life I can not be around his lifestyle. I have been staying at my mother’s house recently which has helped so much. It’s such a breath of fresh air to be away from the stress.