Almost a day

It’s nearly been a day clean, but after my last bender I’ve been experiencing so many messed up feelings, depression, regret, paranoia, extreme anxiety, and brain fog. I’m worrying about the littlest things, and some of them are so stupid that I know in the back of my mind that it’s ridiculous, but it’s almost like OCD what ifs. I’m starting my first day or AA next Monday hopefully. But I’ve been considering going to the hospital to just get assessed again. I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, and depression a year back. But I’m starting to panic

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It might also help to know that those feelings are totally normal. It has a name that I forget because I have named it “post booze emo” :joy: and i 100% understand. Mine would be so bad that I would feel physically sick from the anxiety. The guilt would have me sobbing and sometimes I legitimately had no reason to feel anxious or guilty I hadn’t done anything wrong persay. I had 3 glasses of wine at home the night before and didn’t even go on an embarrassing Social media rant or anything. Just took A long bath and went to bed. But my brain would be digging around for something to latch onto that would give it a REASON to be feeling guilt or anxiety. And if nothings there it just keeps spinning. There’s like a actual scientific is the logical reason that your brain does this after you tied one on. I’m so sorry that I can’t remember it. Just know that post booze emo IS a temporary phenomenon AND you never have to feel it again if you just don’t drink. You can survive this. You ARENT going crazy. I second the suggestion that if you really feel like you are a danger to yourself there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with going to the hospital or reaching out to someone irl.

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Post booze emo is literally the best way to put it :joy: Thank you so much, I genuinely thought I was losing it for a bit. I kept having thoughts that I was gonna get cheat on, and that my friends would all hate me and drop me, and that it would all be a punishment for my drinking, and I still mildly feel like something will happen as like a way to be punished by the world for it, and my brain felt really still during the first day and a half, but now it’s an on and off feeling, with a lotttt of brain fog

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I’m glad you like that verbiage :joy: yep. I TOTALLY get where you’re at and have been there so many times. Sometimes when my brains spinning like that I just come here and read post after post. It helps to see that you aren’t alone and that other people are struggling along with you and others are having bigs wins. It makes success at this whole thing seem possible even if it’s hard. You don’t even have to comment or like anything. Just come and read and know you’re not alone.

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