Last night was one of those days where I wanted to drink. I got off of my shift, still sweating from all my hard work, popped open the sunroof and drove home with that warm summer night air rushing in and I could taste beer. I could taste the tequila. I could feel my brain wanting that reward, that release. I went to the liquor store, I bought a 6 pack of non alcoholic beer and a bottle of non alcoholic wine. I drank 2.5 non alcoholic beers. The morning is clear, it is cool and it’s making me grateful that I held strong.
I could feel that craving though. It was deep in my spine, wrapped around my brain. It was visceral. It wanted something very specific. I had to convince myself that the high it was seeking (it being my brain) would never actually come. The camaraderie and connection will not be found in the bottom of a bottle.