Always feeling like a failure

Hey, I’m from Germany so my English isn’t the best… sometimes I think I can stay strong for years, because I don’t need drugs anymore but pretty often I drank/ drink alcohol. And I hate it. I hate me for drinking it every single time. I’m not myself anymore. I’m only freezing, hating myself and asking myself if this is really the life I want. I know my mother dropped my father because of drinking, and I know that he’s clean know but it feels like I’m betraying him and my whole family when I’m drinking (and this is pretty often).
My boyfriend always supports me and helps me with my drug problem but drinking isn’t a problem for him but for me but because of that I don’t know how to quit it.
I always feel like I can’t do anything against those addictions but I know I can be strong… but not against alcohol and I hate it (and me because of those behaviors)

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I understand feeling like a failure! Be kind to yourself, you’re tough enough to beat the drugs, so obviously you’re tough enough to beat booze. Unfortunately sobriety is harder to achieve when your partner doesn’t understand the problem, but that’s what this forum is for. Everyone on here knows how important it is to know you’re not alone, and we all know just how hard it is to battle an addiction. Keep fighting the good fight, you can do this! :heart:

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These are the lies we tell ourselves, that we can’t say “no” to alcohol, or “I don’t have a problem” or my favorite. “I can quit anytime, but now is not the time”.

But you can quit. You can say “no” to alcohol. There a whole bunch of people who overcame the lies, and started believing in themselves. There’s a whole bunch of people here, winning their battle every day.

Decide to be better, and then be better. Keep getting better at getting better, each and every day.

And I’m from Brazil, my English is not the best either!
I also get devastated when I drink alcohol knowing what is going to happen negative in me. It’s a fight we can not give up. Try, try until you get it.