Ive traveled to Sedona and the Grand Canyon in the last week. I also celebrated my one year sobriety birthday. This trip helped me see a few things…i love hiking, i can move/exercise more, i can eat less. Im down a pant size AFTER vacation…that never would have happened if i was still drinking.
I feel i am becoming. I am becoming someone who is confident and proud yet humble. I also go with the flow and accept change better than I have in the past. Im very happy with my progress in recovery and getting back into shape. Fuck ive lost nearly 73lbs from my heaviest and im still considered obese according to my BMI. 7.5 more lbs and im then just overweight haha i have no plans of slowing down. I like this new me.
A part of me is worried what I’ll occupy my time with once i get to my goal weight. Ive been keeping busy counting calories and exercising. I guess the exercising wont stop. Fuck im just an alcoholic looking for that next obsession. Maybe i can grow my recovery efforts. Maybe i can sponsor. I said i would after my one year milestone. AA and Dharma Recovery keep me busy. Maybe im just living in fear which i tend to do. I will stay committed to my healthier way of life
Absolutely amazing work CJP! Youve definitely come a long way in your journey and its super inspirational for me. Just keep doing what you have been doing and enjoy the healtier you!
I do think you would make a fantastic sponsor when you are ready. I dont get “fear” from your posts …maybe you did live in fear in the past but i feel you are now brave and constantly evolving.
Continued success my friend…im learning so much from you! Thank you
What a beautiful photo! Some of the best moments captured are the ones we arent prepared for. I think this photo would bring joy to anyones face (I know it made me smile), its truly organic
I’ve been asking myself the same question and my response to myself is yes. Weird how everything seems to have a label for Ive been told I’m a functioning alcoholic…I can’t moderate when I do drink and I realized over time that I’m unfortunately deliberately trying to slowly hurt myself which makes me mad at myself. So I’m going to take one day at a time and find ways to cope when life throws triggers my way which is way too often but I do want to enjoy life and stop being so miserable. My biggest battle for me right now will be that my husband still and will keep drinking and I take full responsibility for my own choices and actions but I will say he’s basically my biggest trigger so I hope you get support from yours and your loved ones for it will help. Blessed Be here is too one day at a time we GOT this!!!
My sponsor is giving me my one year chip at my thursday ladies mtg. Im stoked but…im debating inviting my mom. I had asked my mom last week if she wanted to come and she said yes. BUT im scared and doubting if i want her there. So tonight i talked to my sponsor and was hoping for some sage advice and she said its up to you…that got me thinking why wouldnt i want to share this major milestone with my mom, my cheerleader? Fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of losing my shit and ugly crying. Pride and ego. Fear of tarnishing her view of me even tho she saw me go down for years and was there last year when we were on vacation, sharing a room, and after a long day of drinking i threw up in my sleep. (My uncle did the same thing but aspirated and died) i have shame and guilt. Fear of sharing my safe place.
Why should i invite her? She loves me and supports me. Sharing a beautiful moment and accomplishment with her. Being open and honest cant hurt our relationship but help it grow.
Hmmmm…ill keep thinking on it and talk to my sponsor tomorrow.
Aqe love…i can understand the mixed feelings you are going through. Im sure your mom would love to see you receive the 1 year chip. She was there for the hard times - let her be there for the good. It will only enhance her love for you. Seeing you florish in an environment that has helped you become the strong woman you are.
In the end it is all up to you just dont let fear be the deciding factor.
You will definitely make the right decision whatever you choose. From what you’ve said about how supportive your Mom is I’m on team invite her. If she wants to share her pride and you feel comfortable letting her in go for it.
I say yes of course as long as she is not going to celebrate with a drink afterwards. You have to feel good about it. This is your night. I think that after your time together on your vacation you will be able to make the right choice.
Checking in…day 390. Friday of a long holiday weekend. I’ve been go-go-going today. Morning coffee. Got the car oil changed and tires rotated. Grocery shopping. Healthy baked chicken with panko and mozzarella on top and brocolli. Chilled on the couch for 2 hours. Took Boscoe for a medium walk. Got accupuncture for my knee pain and anxiety. Meditated. Chilled for an hour. Made dinner. Ate dinner. Ran outta hearts here. Joined an AA zoom. Now we are here and im wondering…am i overdoing it? Not everyday is like today. I think since getting sober and healthier i want to make the most of my freetime. BUT? I need to be honest with myself…am i uncomfortable with free time?
Going into a holiday weekend…i still remember the dread this time last year. I feared i would drink. I feared alone time. Fastforward a year and im a little uncomfortable but will hit aa meetings as necessary.
Tomorrow is less busy. Gym class at 8am and nephews 6th birthday party at 4. I’ll do some laundry and clean AND CHILL.
Im so fucking greatful to be over a year sober. The day count isnt as important these days and im growing daily in my sobriety. Im greatful im losing weight and getting healthier. Im coming up on 5 months of healthy eating and ive lost 32lbs as of last week. Only 5lbs until im not considered obese and just overweight. Only 35lbs til im a healthy bmi. I have no plans of stopping!
Well these are the ramblings of my mind tonight. Imma take a shower and my meds and fall asleep to a meditation.
Isnt it great to want to do so much??? To not be lying on the couch wasting a day…hungover…feeling like ??? You included some chill time in there so you are golden. Reaching health goals, too!! I love it for you. Enjoy your holiday weekend.
I love it - As long as you don’t feel exhausted or drained then you are not over doing it. A busy schedule means something different to everyone. I think you are finding the right amount of balance in your day with walking, resting, mediating, chores , meetings, cooking etc… This sounds like a very well rounded day.
You are killing it at living a full sober life - Love this for you! So glad that the long weekend is not as daunting this time around. Have a wonderful day
Wow its been awhile since i posted here. Ive been around just havent felt the best or had much to say.
Well today i had an amazing experience at a 11 step prayer and meditation workshop. I feel joy. Which is a relief from the lows ive been feeling this week.
Of course my normal anxiety was leading to me thinking about canceling BUT im a woman of action and i already rsvpd. Im so greatful i took action today and dedicated 3 hours to growing my spirituality thru prayer and meditation.
My higher power = the universe and energy
I learned lots of cool things and will add my notes later but i just wanted to document my progress.
Practice makes progress
It was weird this workshop was held at a church i went to a long time ago. Back in the before days when i knew i had a problem and challenged myself to go to 3 aa meetings. One of those was at this church and boy oh boy am i so very proud of the change in me since then. I have 13+ months of sobriety. I am taking positive action. I am growing and learning. I am truly living. What a fricken blessing and its night and day compared to when i was at this site before.
Im greatful i am a recovering alcoholic. Im greatful for hitting my bottom and being desperate enough to try aa again. Im greatful for the 12 steps and aa fellowship that has brought me here, today, with a bangin gratitude practice and a hope and joy i always yurned for.
I just booked our coasta rica trip! We take off feb 1st 2024. We went thru a travel agent who made it simple and at a great price!
Itinerary:
Fly into liberia feb 1
3 days in tamarindo
3 days in arenal
2 days in monteverde
3 days in manuel antonio
Fly out of san jose feb 12
Includes transportation
Lodging
Surf lessons
Snorkeling tour
Hike to a Volcano, waterfall, hotsprings, and dinner with guide
White water rafting
Another waterfall tour
Coffee and chocolate tour
All day national park tour/hike with guide
We wanted to go for our honeymoon in 2021 but didnt have the funds and ya know covid.
This would not be possible without sobriety 100%. In the last 14 months ive saved enough to fund this. We are worth it!
I told my husband before we got married that i want to keep traveling. This big trip is dreams coming to fruition.
Hi my names cjp and im a recovering alcoholic who also has bipolar type 2.
I met with my meds management lady today and decided to bring up my anxiety and having not slept thru the night for months. Im on 4 pills now to manage my depression which has worked for years. Tweaking meds always makes me nervous but im hopeful. Im starting a low dose med for anxiety and switching a sleep med. So starting tonight i’ll be on 5 pills. Seems like alot but is totally worth staying out of the psych ward or plotting my suicide daily.
Things are sooo much better since getting sober nearly 14 months ago. I guess im just finetuning. Heres to hoping for a happier, less anxious mind
??? You included some chill time in there so you are golden. Reaching health goals, too!! I love it for you. Enjoy your holiday weekend.
