I relapsed on day five, feel like death warmed up, no sleep, hungover and coke comedown.
I feel like such a loser, can’t bear my life and the merry go round of addiction.
I hate myself with a passion
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Hi Karen, welcome back. Many of us have relapsed. It’s easier said than done, but don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it, what was the trigger that put you over the edge? There’s so much good advice out here, read around. And as @Piglet86 said, come here if you’re feeling an urge, good chance it will stop you. It has stopped me in the past. Stay strong 
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I will, things have to change, I can’t go on living like this. Thank you for your kindness. Just feeling so so unhappy with myself
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And 5 days is a big accomplishment, you CAN do it again and go farther. The 1st 5 to 10 days are definitely the hardest, but worth it.
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I just feel utterly hopeless right now, feel like I am a lost cause atm.
You’re not a lost cause, you’re a person with an addiction, same as all of us. We’re all human, we make mistakes, we relapse. But you came back, you haven’t given up. That says something about you, about your strength. When I 1st relapsed here, I was ashamed to come back, but I’m so glad I did. 
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I’m sitting outside of a bar right now, and I’m glad I came here first. I’m sorry you’re having a tough day, but by talking about it here, you’ve shown me what my tomorrow would be. Thank you for inspiring me not to, and let today be the first day of your new journey. Thank you and god bless 
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Starting now you chose YOU!
Shake it off and onward you go. 
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@Nepti123 Karen you are here and you came back for a reason. This community is strong and like everyone said. We are all here becaus we know we have a problem with our DOC. Stay busy the coming days, if being on this app helps you with that so be it. Look at what you did today! You helped someone in the community @jjjm26 not go into that bar. That’s the kind of power all sharing collectively and commenting when we’re about to fall that helps us through.
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Hi Karen, this new post was added today about someone who is now 6 months sober from cocaine and alcohol. It’s a good read.
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Hi and Welcome! We’re so glad you’re here, stay strong my friend, a lot of reading, excellent advice and good people who care.
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You’re not a loser!! I’m so sorry this happened and that you feel so horrible. Keep trying again and again, you got this! Learning as much as I can about addiction and alcohol has really helped me to want to avoid it, maybe that could help you too if you start researching in to what it does to our brains etc. Then it makes it a little easier to not want it. So proud of you for being here:heart:
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Reset and try again…I had to reset many times…every time you reset you feel like a loser yes but you are not one…as long as you keep on trying you are not a loser…remember it’s just a ride, you’ll have ups and downs but it’s just a ride and you can change it anytime you want 
I recomend you to read the Book “Dopamine Nation”
Dopamine Nation — Anna Lembke, MD.
It helped me a lot to understand what’s going on in my brain when I do coke and booz…just getting triggered releases dopamine and after that you feel low and want to do it, but you can wait through this low instead of giving in to it and you will feel better shorty after…and relizing what triggers are and avoiding them can help a lot too…almost everything can be a trigger… for example a thought, a location, people, music…
Good luck to you and don’t ever give up. If you fall, just get back up and ride on 
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I think I had already planned it out before I was even aware!
This forum is amazing though, and I am serious about ending this shit, there is so much more to life, and I am letting it pass me by!
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We are all here for you!! All you can do is move forward and don’t let yourself get dug back into that whole one day at a time! Sending all good vibes!
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I have to reset as well… I knew friday’s are a trigger for me and planned stuff to keep me busy but I ended up drinking Friday night a lot and Saturday a bit. Not today though! Today I start again.
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I dont mean to preach but just hand your addiction over to the lord , I’ve been a alcoholic since 1985 ( 14 years old )
I’ve tried to quit many times in the past but it wasn’t until I prayed with total faith to God for him to take the alcohol desires away that it finally worked and all my alcohol desires are now gone
Read proverbs 20 :1 & proverbs 23:19 it talks about addictions , look up on YouTube pastor Adrien Rodgers " battle of the bottle
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Thank you for posting, it is difficult but this place will help if you let it.
It feels important to say that I am a proud ex-christian. There are religious and non religious threads on here - seek out what works for You and nobody else.
Please be gentle with yourself. Self hate will make you more vulnerable to relapse and you deserve to heal from addiction. Listen to the part of your soul that wants to heal. 
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