Came home from my Aunt"s funeral today to this. Of course i knew it was coming but it doesn’t create any less anxiety. Ironically, after 23 days of sobriety this symbol of my very real reminder of how bad things were (and will still be) makes me want to drink an entire bottle (or 2) of vodka for the first time weeks. Of course I know that isn’t going to help anything but I’m in such a panic over everything and still think I will ultimately lose my job. All I can think of is blocking it from my mind, even for a short time. I’m not going to, but the thought is there just the same.
If anything this should be a reminder of why not to use.
This can be a positive if you allow it to be.
Hello. The positive is… you didn’t hurt anyone else or yourself (physically) in the event of- and can now take responsibility for your actions… right? Does it feel amazing for you right now? No and I’m sorry Thank you for sharing this.
An additional positive is this individual is growing stronger every day by not drinking. Facing these things sober toughens ones mind. Small victories lead to bigger triumph’s
I got a DUI when I was 21 and it took me another TWELVE YEARS to finally realize how destructive my problem with alcohol was. I even drank while I was on probation. Unfortunately, sobriety never crossed my mind back then. I made other changes and grew as a person, but quitting drinking wasn’t one of them and I wish it had been. In comparison, you’re ahead of the game by going 23 days without using.
I will say that the next year or two are going to suck. Hard. But you can turn it into a positive if you want to. Go to meetings, therapy, volunteer, do anything to prevent yourself from picking up that bottle and you will love yourself for it.
Best of luck.