How do you deal with the anger? I’m sober my husband is not. I have a ton on my plate. I lost my mom and just started to deal with it. It was a whole lot easier being a drunk. I didn’t have to deal with him or anything else. I’m so angry I truly want to punch him. Trust me I’m not going to but I am that angry. Instead I come into my room and read.
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I really try to lean into “anger is a secondary emotion.” I get really angry and if I can slow myself down, I can trace it back to another feeling. Anger helps in “fight or flight.” It’s a protection from other feelings. I do like this explanation, as it’s straight-forward and simplified:
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I understand how you feel. My husband is an alcoholic and drank through my first year of sobriety. I was very angry too. Most days I felt like I was the only adult in our household, doing everything and working full time. It was a very difficult time for me. I attended many AA meetings both online and in person to escape the madness and to guard my sobriety. I did as everyone said and waited a year before making any life changing decisions. As soon as that year was up, I had to give him an ultimatum because I couldn’t live like that any longer. He finally got sober knowing I was serious.
We can’t make anyone get sober. They have to want it themselves. Do what you have to do to guard your own sobriety. Are you working any type of program? The woman at AA and people on this forum were my support system. Lean on sober people to help you.
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I’m actually going to a meeting at a church on Thursday. It’s a recovery meeting. It’s not aa, or na just recovering. I thought I might learn and perhaps stop being so angry.
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Thank you for the information
I was angry. But in a different way. I was very angry I can’t drink like a normie.
I would put on my meanest angriest Gangsta Rap on my iTunes and walk my angry ass off. Sometimes twice a day.
Me and Eminem some Snoop Dogg some
K-os. After a good long angry walk I was drained. You do sound busy with a lot of shit on your plate. But sometimes you got to make the time for your sobriety.
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I’ve shared this quote before, but it really makes me think… “anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured…”
Some of us have new found anger since becoming sober… it’s all the things we tried to cover up with substances instead of truly dealing with the issue. Trying to find healthier ways of coping is a journey in and of itself. But we must not bottle it up… (literally and figuratively)
