Ladies! ( and gents )
I’m so happy to have found this thread just now. Ive done the same things to my husband. I still feel like he’s a saint for staying with my drunk a** after I swung at him more than once :(.
1 Like
I know how you feel. One one of those blacked out uber rides home I woke up with a big bruise on my hip and my two front teeth slightly chipped. I don’t know what I could have tripped on. I was so scared I could have been take advantage of even though I didn’t feel like anything sexual happened. I had to put my mind at ease, so I went to the doctor. 
I’m guilty of trying to swing at my husband more than once. I don’t know who this person is that I become when I’m blacked out. I don’t know how my husband has stayed with me after the horrible things I’ve yelled at him on top of trying to punch him.
3 Likes
Isn’t it a terrifying feeling finding that?? It was so much work trying to hide bottles or throw them out before my husband saw them.
2 Likes
Exactly! Some days I look at him and have so much shame for saying and doing some things I’d never in a million years want to do to him.
2 Likes
oh no:((( itsnt it scary to think that we put ourselves at that much risk:( and our husbands through so much worry
2 Likes
I have the exact same issue. I’m twenty four, and when I first started drinking I didn’t black out at all, but now it is to the point where every time I drink I always end up blacking out and saying super hurtful/mean things to my boyfriend. The next morning I always wake up confused and worried, wondering what kinds of terrible things I did or said, and I just don’t want to live like that anymore. Anyway, you are definitely not alone! 
4 Likes
Do the work, read everything you can about addiction and recovery. Don’t be afraid to fail. But when you do, move on and keep moving forward.
2 Likes
It’s the worst feeling to have. It’s like how could this person stay with me after what I’ve done? Could I stay with someone like me? 
I know I don’t want to put him or me through those situations again.
2 Likes
I become a monster when I’m drunk. I don’t know that person either. But it doesn’t happen every time. I’m craving liquor, not because I want one or two drinks, but because I want to be drunk. It won’t fix anything though. I’m depressed because I was let go from work, and I was excited about a potential job, but they just sent me the denial email about an hour ago. I don’t want to feel right now. But drinking won’t solve anything.
2 Likes