Animals that are arseholes


Raccoons are ass… The time I lived in U.S.A they scared me so many times. And they knew they scare me


House centipede. Because they’re huge and fast. If you see them but they get away before you can squish them you imagine them crawling on you to drink from your eyes and nose when you’re asleep. Or something creepy like that. Gross assholes.


Mice. Mice are assholes! And so is my dog who likes to eat them… Side note: Apparently a place in Maine is getting lobsters stoned before the cook them so they are sedated…only in Maine! Can’t get theah from heah!


Slug :face_vomiting:
Especially after a rainshower


Yeah cause who wouldn’t mind being boiled alive while stoned…what a great solution :wink:


Caterpillars are assholes. They destroy my plants.


Don’t kill them! They eat termites and very rarely leave the walls and hardly ever bite. I used to kill them until someone told me that (now I worry about having termites b/c it’s highly likely that I have them…). Now I just leave them alone and stay out of their way, lol


I’m a hiker too; I totally second that. They look so cute and fuzzy, but at the same time you just want to punt them like a football. :unamused:


I don’t kill them. I just want my plants not devaured by them.


In the spirit of you hating deer I will try and put one in my belly in the next two weeks.
Then pick my teeth with the horns.


I moved to a more northern state and I saw a little mouse run across the kitchen floor. I chased after him, he jumped in the garbage can and I caught him. He was really cute.

I let him go outside but I had a housekeeper that unbeknownst to me put out a trap that killed him.

I fired her!


They just need to be relocated to a appropriate place, not killed. I am sorry for the cutie.


They are cute as fuck! But they eat my stuff, make me scream like a little girl and they actually eat each other if you try to save them and put them in a mouse cage together. Therefore, they classified as assholes lol.


But Ratatouille? That little guy was a great chef. Now you claim they are cannibals.

I reject your reality and submit my own!!:triumph:


I killed a large mouse or small rat after I put it out and it came back. I hit it with an aluminum pole and then tried to suffocate it before I finally successfully killed it by squishing it with my kettlebell. I’m sorry but if you steal food from my kids after I tried to set you free it is mother fucking on. To the death.


I do the same with spiders. They get one reprieve.



Also… How does one suffocate a mouse?

(Please don’t actually say. I’m imagining the tiniest pillow was involved.)


I guess we shouldn’t fuck with your groceries


Emus…They’re as tall as you, ugly, beady little eyes, pointy black beak, will peck at you, fast runners, will get up in your space. Just plain assholes.


My cat is an asshole. I really don’t like her…lol