Thanks Karen, I appreciate that 
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I know he can apologize in a direct and sincere way if he knows he’s wrong and there’s no one else except for the person he’s apoligizing to around. But he doesn’t think he’s wrong, so he won’t. He has views that I find wrong on many levels. He thinks it’s okay to abuse whatever the fuck he wants to abuse. And although I hate how he treated me, I still love him. I know he won’t ever treat me like that again. It hurt him so much when I went no-contact on him. And it probably hurt me too. I accept his ignorance. I accept I cannot change his views. Though it’d be nice if he’d actually apologize.
I hope that despite the time it has taken, your sister will actually apologize 
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Thanks Dan
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I cried today. In front of my mom. That’s very good. I accepted my feelings. I’m not happy with my life. I don’t feal heard. Fuck, I even had to go to my other thread to post this because no one replies to my thread, which is fully understandable rationally speaking, but emotionally it sucks. I won’t ever be a normal functioning person. Fuck me, fuck my obsession, fuck my inability to have a good hygiene, fuck my body for being so stiff, fuck my dad for raising me to feel satisfied only when perfect, fuck my autism, fuck my adhd, fuck my addiction, fuck my lack of faith in God, fuck my inability to stop obsessing. Life would be easier if I’d be dead.
P.S. Don’t be worried about me. I’m too pussy to hurt myself.
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((( @anon57836609 )))) you are an amazing, smart, thoughtful, insightful, loving human being. I am sorry you’re feeling in such a funk right now. I always appreciate reading what you write.
I am a shy person so sometimes I’m hesitant to reply on something. I’m afraid that what I say won’t be helpful or wanted.
I want you to feel good about yourself. There’s something called positive affirmations that might be helpful for you. You look in the mirror and you say there are things I like about myself. You look in the mirror and you say I am worthy and people like me for who I am. You look in the mirror and you say I Accept myself and I can grow and make changes where I want to. Crying is healing and crying is helpful. They used to say that crying actually washed out bad chemicals out of the body. And make you feel better. Life is never going to be perfect. There are always going to be things that bring us down and make us feel defeated. With friends and with inner strength you get through these things. You have friends here. You have lots of friends here on this website that care for you so much. Big hugs for you and wishing you brighter days.
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How was after you cry, did it feel better? a lot of times we dont let our emotions show, is good to do it from time to time.
Don’t think that way about yourself I know is hard but you are trying your best and you are working and doing things for your addictions.
ADHD and Autistm is hard because not even you can understand what is going on with your brain and with your life, but I can tell you 100% that there’s a moment when things are going to start making sense, not everyone are the same and you have to learn who you are… and why everything is the way it is… is a long way but you will get there.
Sometimes we think is the easy way to be dead but is not you can learn so much about life that is not worthy to thing that way.
As a friend with the same conditions that you, I can tell you that thing one day will make sense. Hell it took me until I was 31 to starting to figure it out…
Be who you are don’t try to be like others with time things are going to start getting better.
You know that I’m here when you want to talk a message on wsp when you feel like talking.
A big Hug
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I heard you. Don’t be so tough on yourself. You are actively trying to improve things about yourself and your life. That’s more than a lot of people can say. Keep working towards your goals.
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Anyone really. I can’t get emotional support from my best friend as he’s not someone who talks about feelings. He tries to understand, but he can’t as he’s had a great life so far. He doesn’t have any mental health issues. My sister will understand me and makes me feel we have a great relationship. And then she’ll all of a sudden start being an asshole to me. For some reason I don’t want to some weak in front of my mom. So there’s no one that I can get proper emotional support from. And when I turned to TS yesterday, I saw that when I do well I get five likes a post, but when I do bad 1-2. It’s completely understandable as people, especially in recovery don’t always have the energy to read a negative post and respond to it. And I’m pretty sure they’re scared it’ll send the wrong message if they do like a negative pist. It makes complete sense. But it still kinda hurts.
I do feel heard now though, five people who care about me have replied. That makes me feel a lot better
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Glad you are feeling better. What is on your schedule today?
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Thanks Alisa, crying did help a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m going to hate the standing in front of a mirror thing. Probably because it’ll work. So I’ll give it a shot. And thanks for the compliments, I appreciate them a lot
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Thanks Andy. Adhd and autism indeed makes things harder. Though I think it’ll get better indeed. And crying did really help a bunch. Thanks for being there for me
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Thanks Chris
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You’re right, thanks Scott
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School, therapy and work. School will be fine even though my adhd is going nuts. Therapy will be for only addiction and I don’t think my counselor understands my addiction as he thought I could moderate gaming and doesn’t think what I have is an addiction for some reason. The kind of therapy is helpful though. And work will be interesting. My inability to hut my deadline is making me more and more upset with myself which makes me wallow in selfhate and self-pity
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Sounds like your giving it everything you have and that’s all you can do. Tell that self pity to take a hike! 
Have a great day and remember that you are awesome!! 
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I am glad u are sharing feelings with ur mum. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but u have such a good headstart by working on yourself now, when u are young. I am nearly 40, but am just starting to work on myself. U will learn to deal with ur perfectionism, adhd, etc. Feel confident u are getting better little by little.
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Your inability to hit what deadline? Sounds like you had/ are having a full day. Let us know how it went.
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Hey Jan,
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had tough time, feeling lonely and not heard. I can relate. When I was your age, I didn’t really have friends, I couldn’t talk to my parents, I felt very alone with all emotions, questions, fears and addiction. I was stressed with school and my health.
Things maybe don’t look so good now but there are seasons in our lives. I started making friends at uni and in new church surroundings. I have been blessed to meet new friends along the way. There are many good practical advice given already. I hope those help you.
I want to you know that people care. I care about you. You are a remarkable young man who has a lot to deal with - and you are doing that with the best of your ability. That makes me proud. I know and understand others’ silence might come across as ignorance and it hurts. Not all silence is ignorance. I know you know that.
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It went pretty good. I always have a certain amount of time in which I have to stock all my cargo. There aren’t consequences if you don’t or anything. But I simply want to do my job up to standards
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How are you doing Jan? I hope you are well! How did your finals go?
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