Hello everybody!
I am new here and 82 days sober and 100 days without cannabis.
I have allways selfmedicated because of anxiety. I could never keep my mouth shut and still cant. My pulse go up and i just become angry when anything/ anyone dosent do what i seem to be the smartest choice. After, when the pulse finally drops the anxiety comes. The only time i really didnt hate myself was when i was smoking or drinking. Of course i had anxiety afterwards because i cant hold my licker. Had my first anxiety attack when i was 12. Had to change schools/classes 4 times around that age. Noone would ever think in the late 80s that a kid could be mentaly ill. I got ulcer medicine for a worried stomach.Since that age i have been drinking. In the teens maybe 2 times a week and hasch the same. From maybe 28 atleast 5 times a week and hasch as much as i could get a hold of. I am 47 today. A couple of years ago i got an adhd diagnosis but because i was in bad shape mentally and never told about my addictions the medicine never helped.
13 months ago i wrote a letter to a addict clinic and it took me almost a year to stop smoking hasch and drinking. But now a have a medicine that helps me to not get overinvolved in everything and my pulse dosent sprint. And i can get things done. I have energy to do things at work and at home. I still crave for alcohol an hasch but beacuse idont hate myself as much it makes things easier. This is a very short story and i miised alot of vital things but i think that i am not alone with this. Or am i?
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I am from Sweden hence the strange english.
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You are definitely not alone in this! This community is super supportive and Im glad you are here. Congrats on your sober milestones and mental health work youve been doing for yourself!
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