I have been sober for over 2 years. Whenever I think about when I used to drink and all the dangerous situations I put myself in and the blackouts. I start having panic attacks.One time I woke up at 7am I thought I was in my bed but I was in someone else’s bed and I had to find my way back home that was 2 cities away. Sometimes I would get drunk and go swimming by myself. I have said so many hurtful things to people when I’m drunk and dont even remember. It hurts me that I would do such stupid things and even apologizing doesn’t cut it for me. I cant believe sone of the things i did. I try to not think about it but if I’m not doing much it creeps into my head. Next thing I know I’m having a panic attack. I’m wondering if anyone else feels this way and what helps get through those times.
Working steps 4-9 of AA has pretty much relieved of that anxiety. I identified my shortcomings, shared them with another person, asked my higher power to remove my character defects, work on them daily, made a list of people I’ve wronged and have attempted to make things right.
I’ve learnt through acceptance that things in the past cannot be changed. It’s happened we can do nothing about it.
What we have control over is today. By living the best that we can today, we are able to move forward and create a better us for tomorrow.
We only have today to live in we can do nothing about the past.
Congratulations on two years.
Yep been there (still am sometimes) and the anxiety breeds addiction. Ive started to think about letting go of past situations but in stages and for me its along process! Im also trying to not get so emotionally involved in things/people at work (i work with the sick) don’t get me wrong im far from being cold or uncaring its just im starting to gradually not take all their troubles on board as ive got my own to deal with.
Letting go is the hardest thing to do for alot of people. Find your way of letting go! Because im not getting so involved at work its kind of helping me to let go of the past. Werid but true for me.
12 step recover program will take care of any anxiety wish you well