Anyone else (trying to) quit Heroin?

I had 7 months clean and I relapsed in mid 2017.

The entire time while I was using, i would think to myself how much I hated it and all I wanted was to get clean.

So I left the country for a month and got clean. And the entire time I was gone, all i thought about was getting high…

So I cam back home, and I decided to use one time and continue with life. And here I am 10 months later, smoking a gram of heroin daily.

Im at a point where I need to either pick up the needle or get clean, and my decision is to get clean…

Its just so hard to get off this mother fucking shit. I have suboxone which will make it way easier, but i cant seem to pull the trigger.

The way suboxone works is you need to wait 24 hours from your last opiate so that your body is in withdrawal before you can take it. If you take it too early, it puts you into what is called “precipitated withdrawal” which is full blown heroin withdrawal times 10… super heroin withdrawal basically.

And every day i get to the 12 hr mark, 14 hr mark, 16 hr, 18 hr, and i fail. The withdrawls start setting in and i cave. And the problem is, failure has a huge benefit. Failure means i get to get high. So its a big mindfuck.

Anyway… heres to my 1000th try. I downloaded this app. Ive pulled out all the stops, made all the preparations. If you hear from me in 24 hours, that means it was a success, i took the suboxone, and the road to getting clean has begun and im past the hardest part.

Wish me luck.

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Have you considered a rehab program? Sounds like you could use some extra support - nobody has to do this alone x

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Cant do that. Im a functioning addict. I have a lot of responsibilities to tend to. And my addiction is secret. No one knows. Going to rehab would mean everyone knowing.

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Secrecy feeds addictions.

For a long time, I hid mine and struggled along. I thought “I can’t be that bad because I have a job, a partner, I pay my rent”…

But that thinking kept me sick.

You eventually will have to let people in and start getting honest with those you love. They care and they’ll help.

Ir’s very very very rare people can hide an addiction and recover and keep the whole process secret. Dare I say impossible?

Also, you might find people know SOMETHING is up. We usually think we hide things better than we do x

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Admitting there’s a problem is the first step. And “can’t” isn’t a word here. You CAN chose positive steps to aid your recovery, and it’ll get to the point where you MUST. This really is life and death - is it worth scurrying around and dying slowly or risking upsetting a few people but saving your life ans securing a long and happy future?

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Once you start feeling wd symptoms you can take a piece of suboxone. Try 4mgs this should handle most your wd. Its not common for people to get precipitated wds after the 12hr mark. Like clock work withdrawl always gradually sets in at the 11-12hr marks. I would like to assume that you want to taper off subs too and kick the habit entirely. Start on small doses it will make it easier to taper off quickly. I tapered off with subs myself but did a drastic taper which i wouldnt recommend to most. They helpped me from completely wanting to kill myself from hot n cold flashes and just irritable in my own skin. If you need any help or have questions dont be afraid to ask… Your gonna need to take some time off for yourself to detox …

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@Ashleigh Heroin carries such stigma… once people hear the word “heroin” they write you off as a skeeve junkie. Ive already had close people turn their hearts to stone against me… and i havent even been a stereotypical user. Never borrowed money from anyone, always paid my bills, worked hard, kept myself clean cut…

But i remember when i was a square, i totally judged and looked down on h addicts. It wasnt until and only until I myself became an h addict that I became to empathize.

Anyway, fuck people. Im not letting anyone know. I wont give them the privilege of judging me or talking behind my back.

@Donnie_Spiering ive gotten on suboxone before and used it to taper to stone sobriety, absolutely no drugs or maintenance meds. So ive been down the block before.

But i ask you what was your habit? A gram of black tar heroin daily for months is relatively deep. Even after the 24 hour mark, 1mg makes me feel worse.

My new plan is to wait as long possible and dose .25mg. Then keep redosing until theres no pain. And from there use as needed until down to a neglibile dose and hop off.

The goal is to induct the suboxone. Once im there, its smooth sailing. Within 24 hours i get my life back.

So again, if i post here in 24 hrs, we’re in great shape. We can all gain hope knowing that another addict has found the strength and inner resolve to break free. God help us all.

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On the eastside of the states we dont get heroin in tar. just powder. Many times its heroin w/fetnayl/morphine so many times its far more potient then tar heroin. I was a IV user shooting a bun(13 bags) at a time 3-4 times a day. I had a heavy habit to come off of…

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Damn that’s a lot

You are lucky you’re alive

Yeah my habit sniffin it was much lower… That needle changed the whole ball game and took me down fast…when they say u try it once u wont go back… They dont lie and its not a myth… The rush u get is better then a orgasim to many users…

I was also a functioning addict. My job was professional, I volunteered at my daughters school. Even the guy I was seeing had no idea, or so I thought. I tried MANY times to get clean on my own. Either cold turkey, I went through a suboxone clinic once. I also thought there was no way I could take the time to go to rehab. After all failed attempts and all hope lost, I finally looked at my mom and said I need to go to rehab. I was in a plane 4 hours later. And let me tell you, that was the best decision of my life. Getting clean is hard, but the support and people I had while I was there was amazing. I did things I hadn’t done in YEARS! I actually enjoyed my life. When I returned, I had some questions from co workers and friends on where I had been. I just simply stated that I needed to work on my mental health. And that was the end of the conversation. I encourage you to set aside your pride of what other people may think. This is your life that you are trying to save!!!

I was also snorting pure white powder heroin, almost 2 grams a day most days. And today I can proudly say, I am 6 months clean, with a whole lifetime to go!!!

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Heroin has reached epidemic levels in the States. People need to know that the face of heroin is not that junkie living under the bridge, but people like us, anyone of us. That view can only change if the functioning addicts raise their hands. And I know you have a lot to lose if you raise your hand, but you have everything to lose if you don’t.

Godspeed friend.

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My name is mourad, im 22, Egyptian . I’ve been using drugs and alcohol for about 7-8 years. But I’ve been using heroin for the past 7 months. Im in my first day of getting clean. I woke myself up from very intense dreams about using. The feeling of depression set in and i began my day with very intense cravings. I really really really want to use. But i also have a life I desperately want to live. My parents are really old my dad 92 years old. And my mom is old and has been battling with cancer and has had a stroke and one of the most impressive medical histories I’ve seen. She’s a true fighter. They don’t know about my addiction. They depend on me. My girlfriend lives in the US and one day we really do want to get married. She’s so supportive and loves me so much im so gratful. I desperately want to get clean and the life i want to live. But at the same time i feel like im capable of giving up on my life and accept my slow death. Im crying on the inside.

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@Slippin no matter what show up here. In this place you can receive a lot of hope and good advice

I just got off heroin & fentanyl, smoking a gram to my face daily. Functional or not , the trauma that keeps pulling you back into the drug , it’s called disease. An that son of a bitch plays dirty. How I personally got off , was an I patient program. If you have an actual job, it’s actually better (depending on insurance) an of course what state you live in. But none the less , treatment saved my life , narcotics anonymous, saved my life … go to the rooms bro ! Get the love you need ! Hear the message & stay focused. Who gives a flying fuck what people think (excuse my language) but my mom once told me. “Don’t give a flying fuck what people think , if the 3 Fs don’t apply then let it fly” meaning if you ain’t FEEDING me FUCKIN me or FINANCING me… your opinion is nothing. Life is beautiful clean… we will be waiting in the rooms of narcotics anonymous for you until then. I wish you best of luck! :mending_heart: