Sometimes I catch myself nit picking on my insecurities, thinking that I’m not attractive or am gaining weight or not exercising enough, or just not good enough to be loved.
Am I the only person who feels like this, and how do I fight back and stay confident during these tough times ?
Check this out!
Yes, I feel like that constantly. For me, getting sober helped with it, because I am not embarrassed by the things I do or say anymore. Most of the time anyway! I can work towards being my best, and am starting to like who I am becoming, meaning that I like myself a little more each day. I still say and do stupid shit, and there are setbacks, but the overall movement is forward. I think that is the start of real confidence for me, to become someone I like. Then I don’t worry so much about what other people think.
Well thank God somebody else feels the same 
Thanks
Yes all the time! But with the help of CBT, i am trying to focus on the positives not negatives. Growing up with an abusive father who told me I should have been drowned at birth, still trys to guilt me, constantly negates every thing I do, you know what I don’t need his permission to live my life how I choose or need his approval! Live your best life😘
You’re all beautiful. Doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what’s on the inside that counts anyway 
You look good and healthy to me mate. I think that there will always be people who try to belittle and bully others because of their own insecurities 
I think it took me till my 30’s to work this out. Being bullied as a kid because I had really bad acne. And other things that I found it hard to deal with.
Someone said this to me and I thought, wtf. It’s not me it’s them that has the problems.
I couldn’t care what people think or say about me now, especially now I’m sober and have had time to actually grow to like myself a bit more.
I’m more happier with myself now than I think I have ever been!
@Jowieseff, Just do you mate. Because you’re worth it!
@SeanHickey1986 nailed it! My brain has so much time to blow up my insecurities. It’s weird, I feel more confident in some ways than I did when I was drinking and using, but holy hell does my overactive brain overanalyze all my insecurities! I fight with this everyday. But, in the end, the fact that I’m still clean after 2 years trumps it all.
Sometimes I get nitpicky and self concious, then I remind myself, it’s all good because I’m not the only one who feels this way. As evidenced by this thread and from folks I talk to in real life.
We’re all works in progress, do you and be proud of what you’re doing.
I’m with @dot.dot.dot on this one. I have struggled with this feeling my whole life, sober or not. I have always had a hard time feeling like “enough”. Whether that’s good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough. When my husband proposed to me he told me I’ve always been more than good enough. I have some pretty intense body dysmorphia, so I can tell you about my hip dips and other defects for hours. If you need a clue on how crazy that is…hip dips are because of my bone structure. No amount of self loathing will change them.
Acting out in my addiction made me feel like I was temporarily enough. It made me feel beautiful and like an absolute treasure. So when I got sober I struggled a whole lot with this topic. A few things have helped me. I started prozac recently and regret not starting it sooner. It’s made a huge impact. Another thing I do is read affirmations daily. It’s part of my morning routine. I started my list of affirmations when I was having dark moments, I’d just start writing things that I felt like I needed to hear. That list has grown, I still add to it. The other part of this list is gratitude. Especially when I’m having bad days I write out what I’m grateful for.
I’m also working on mindfulness in general, just appreciating the moment. Being here now, instead of worrying if my arms look fat or if anyone is judging me.
Not attractive enough, smart enough, fun enough…all part of why I drank in the first place!! I’m slowly working on that. I’m getting there.
Sure I feel that way.
Hell… That was part of the allure of drinking. Felt prettier, smarter, funnier… And could dance! Lol.
I think it’s pretty normal for self confidence to take a few hits.
What to do about it?
I found going to gym helped on those days in particular.
Never good enough, lovable enough, talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough…any enough. Yeah - for most of my life. And I compensated by developing an ego big as Texas and fragile as spun sugar. Drinking made me not have that relentless track playing in my head - for a few hours. Then it all came back with a vengeance and a dash of rightious anger and resentment. Therapy has helped. Y’all help. Being sober helps - a lot.
Amazing thank you so much for that Everybody
I too do positive affirmations about 2wice a day on average… sometimes I speak them, or listen to them, or watch Inspirational videos, I too feel the same way about the body dysmorphia lots of times… Thanks for the honesty
I believe that is one of the biggest reasons I have the pull to drink/party. I found this “safe place” of being the fun, unpredictable, party chick. And I lived in the idea that it made me more attractive. Sobriety means I’m “too shy”, “boring”, “ugly”, etc…
Obviously that is not true for anyone. But it’s definitely hard to get out of that mindset and even harder to just accept yourself as you are; flaws and all. Escapism seems so much easier. Le sigh.
Yes, I often feel this way. I’m a man in my fifties with an eating disorder. I have had weights ranging over one hundred pounds apart…I go to OA meetings which help me with my body image issues. I see a very good therapist for the rest.
So I was feeling a bit sorry for myself earlier after writing some step work stuff and decided to go for a run, and on my run I felt really spiritually connected… And now I feel a lot better about myself. Exercising is really powerful!
Thanks