Just wondered if anyone also suffered/suffers from an eating disorder as well as their addiction?
I had anorexia as a teenager, it got so severe that I was in hospital and told I had a few months left to live if I carried on as I was. Thankfully I managed to turn it around and 10 years on I am recovered.
However, I just swapped one addiction for another; alcohol. But now I am trying to stay sober I fear that the eating disorder is rearing it’s ugly head.
In my complicated and messed up brain, I see not drinking as denying myself the thing that I want. I am trying to stop drinking and it’s triggered off those old restrictive thoughts that make me want to restrict my food too. Which I know makes no sense.
It’s difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced an eating disorder. But anorexia and alcohol addiction have a lot of similarities for me. They’re both ways of dealing with unpleasant feelings/thoughts. By focusing on food/weight or by getting drunk, I avoid thinking about and dealing with my problems.
But the last thing I need right now is to relapse into anorexia. I’m still on a long waiting list for counselling on the NHS so I’m looking into paying for private therapy.
Focusing on controlling food is stopping me from thinking about alcohol. But both are so destructive. I’m so fed up of this.
I’ve never been diagnosed but I would say that I suffered from bulimia.
From about my mid 20s all the way until 40ish I would use laxatives as a way to lose weight. I would go through periods of not using but it always ended up being my “go-to” when my weight would get out of control. It is still on my mind occasionally.
I’ve also been an obsessive exerciser. I would track my calorie intake and then workout at the gym making sure I burned off all those same calories…usually on the treadmill watching the “calories burned” tick off rather than distance or heart rate. It was ALL about the calories.
But I’ve been lucky. I didn’t like how this made me feel so I’ve been able to stop it. It is just when I get really stressed and really feeling low about myself that it creeps back in. But now I can recognize it faster and put a stop to it.
But you are SO right. Eating disorders and addiction are really the same. They are a way to “deal” with emotional issues. For me it has ALWAYS been about not being good enough to others. I drank to fit in, I took laxatives to achieve an outward appearance that I thought was more socially desired. I’ve just never felt like I was good enough for this world.
I guess that is a good thing about getting older. I don’t give a fuck about what I think the world wants me to be (of course, the true reality is that the world never really gave a fuck about me…it was my own over thinking that made me think they did - LOL). I am going to be me. Do I still hope to some day have a banging bikini body? Yeah. But it isn’t because I think I’m not good enough anymore.
Whatever it is you do to help with your alcoholism…put the same skills to work for your anorexia. Do you meditate? Do you take leisurely walks? Do you make any art? Do you do meetings? It seems like the root issue is the same for both addictions so work on that root.
Yes I can definitely relate to all those things! I dug out some old worksheets from the previous therapy I have had (CBT, mindfulness etc). I’ve been working on a self-compassion focused one which is really helping; Identify the trigger, the unhelpful thoughts and then change those thoughts to something more positive. I definitely struggle to be kind to myself but getting back into journaling is really helping me to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper.
And I’ve started going to the gym more, but I give myself a time limit and only go twice a week at the moment to avoid it becoming an obsession again.
I’d really like to get into mediation as well but it’s very hard; my brain never stops.
I’m surprised this isnt a more frequent topic because I think it’s very common for people to have both issues. I was anorexic as a teenager, then binge eating, then switched to daily drinking, which seemed at the time like progress. I have more perspective now and havent relapsed into the whole food and body image obsession since getting sober, but I can easily see how it could happen. Yoga and walking are really helpful for me, to be present in my body without trying to change anything. If individual therapy is a long wait, are there any support groups you could join?
I should definitely get back into yoga also, there’s a lot that I let slide whilst drinking.
I’ve just left a message with my psychiatrist who I see once every 4 months. There’s a support group (by referral) that he mentioned to me but I said I didn’t want to go. He told me if I change my mind to let him know and he will refer me. So I guess the positive is that I am actually doing something about it. I regonise the signs and I’m seeking help. I’m not going to self-destruct without a fight!
Yoga…that’s my goal to start while I’m on vacation (3 more work days!!) and then continue in in the fall. It would combine light exercise plus meditation.
I don’t have an eating disorder but I’ve heard how similar they are to addiction. I think instead of seeing the restriction of no alcohol, focus on seeing it as getting healthy. Focusing on health and wellness.
I’ve known some people with eating disorders and they really liked the Intuitve Eating materials and groups. The book and workbook is on Amazon and I think it focuses on learning to turn into your body and emotions as a way to heal.
I suffered from anorexia and bulimia in my pre-teen and teen years, but was never hospitalized.
I got into a city swimming team before high school and started obsessing more about my times than food. We swam/competed year round, so I was too preoccupied to continue with my obsessive thinking around food.
Do you have Netflix and have you watched To the Bone? Really good movie about eating disorders.
I have seen it yes, there’s some parts I was a bit like hmm with; sections of the film can be triggering for some. And inpatient treatment is definitely not like that and the doctors don’t look as handsome as keanu reeves but I know of course it was a Hollywood film so it’s not all completely realistic. But overall I did enjoy it.
I liked what the group therapist said: "what you crave is the numbing of the thing you don’t want to feel."
Brilliant.
I have struggled a bit in the past with some binge eating issues. It never really manifested into anything anyone could notice because of my obsessive workout and running routines. My parents only ever showed any affection with food so it became the only way I could deal with negative emotions early in my adulthood.
That is… until I found alcohol. The eating went totally out the window because I was able to really feel better and it killed my appetite so I could stay in great shape (as I was so ignorant to what drinking does to your body).
As my alcoholism progressed and drinking no longer made me feel better, I started combining it with binge eating. It is crazy the amount of weight I threw on in such a short time and the way my health suffered.
I’m so grateful to be on this journey. My search for myself seems to be healing both issues because, for me, they stemmed from the same place.
Thanks for sharing and opening up the discussion around this topic. I’m sure so many of us can relate to what you’re going through. Good luck on your journey!
I have been sober from alcohol for 10 days. Already, as I had guessed from previous experiences that it might, binging and purging is rearing it’s ugly head. I started binging and smoking cigarettes at 15, drinking at 16. That was 25 years ago. I have spent nearly all of that time trying to quit one, two or all of those behaviors. If I get one under control temporarily, the other two increase. I have been attending AA meetings for 9 days, haven’t had nicotine in a month or so, and I felt great about that until I realized that each day I was binging worse. This is my first serious attempt at sobriety. In the past, I always stopped with the intention of talking a break until I learned to moderate. This is the first time that I understood that all three behaviors are manifestations of one thing. What that thing is yet, I am not entirely sure but I intend to stay sober, nicotine free and binge free so that my mind can get clear enough to start figuring it out.
Hi @Triobe, I can definitely relate to supplementing one addiction for another. Food control or binging are very familiar to me, in addition to drinking in excess. I’m trying to focus on the reasons I’m doing these things to get to the root of the problem vs replacing one thing for another. I am right in the middle of it and still trying to figure everything out. I’m here if you ever want to talk about either addiction.
I myself have not had an eating disorder. My daughter however does. She has gone through the regimen of treatment. I was with her during the steps. Fortunately being an alcoholic I was able to relate to what she was experiencing. Every addiction is different so I cant understand completely but we do have a connection.
I think it’s also another form of our addictive mind. I not only have issues with alcohol but with many other drugs and also eating disorders. I struggle with body image every day of my life even when I am very thin. My mind isn’t healthy. That’s the problem. It shows in many forms.
It does make sense. I’ve had a similar experience. Not as extreme, but similar. I get it. Definitely reach out to a professional for help. It’s always better to catch it before it gets bad. And honestly, the fact that you’re seeing it and are aware of it is awesome and will help.
And I feel like eating disorders are kinda an addiction, like i feel like they’re a solution to the same problem and kinda make u feel a similar way, at least in my experience. Just try make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Also good job on making sure you don’t work out too much. Good forethought.
That was long but that’s my opinion. Hope it was a good read lol.
Thanks for your honesty!!! I totally relate–I struggle with binging too but I know it’s just some crazy thing inside of me that finds a way to ruin things even if it’s not through food. What can I do to help??
My psychiatrist suspected an eating disorder but refrained from diagnosing because it was a weird case. I would restrict and/or purge for long periods of time. Then I would get scared of the health effects and switch to binging and overeating. And back and forth. So he thought it didn’t need treatment other than the mental health assistance I was already getting. And a very difficult diet during my stay in the psych ward. In my experience it’s very much like an addiction. I have to be very careful right now because I’m newly sober from alcohol and have gained a lot of weight and could really easily fall back into a restricting/purging pattern.
I feel a lot less lonely seeking alcohol support peers though because so few men seem to admit EDs, and it’s a slightly different variant of stigma.
with; sections of the film can be triggering for some. And inpatient treatment is definitely not like that and the doctors don’t look as handsome as keanu reeves 
but I know of course it was a Hollywood film so it’s not all completely realistic. But overall I did enjoy it.