Courage To Change is my only daily reader this year. Nothing else. It’s the first time I’m reading it while having a sober wife in my life.
I thought this was a really nice reading.
Enjoy if you like.
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This one hits home for me. You can replace AL-Anon with AA or any other recovery program.
But I do this in my real life. Sometimes I feel like I got to be better than others. Little things. Like do more so I don’t look lazy. Or to justify sitting around doing nothing. Or I wish I could speak calmly and organized like Susan does at meetings.
But I know I am getting better. Much better. Trying to unlearn 40 years of a behavior I thought I needed, to have to survive is hard to unlearn.
But I’m getting there. Soberly!
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I love this 
And I can very much relate to your post. Unlearning what kept me surviving and NOT replacing it … though stuff and soooooo worth it 
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Thank you for sharing my friend
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I love this part of Courage To Change today
“My behavior paralleled that of the alcoholic. The only difference was that I did it sober— insane, but sober. I saw how much I blamed other people for the events in my life, how I took everything personally, and how my reactions to the alcoholic were based on my fears.”
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Excellent reminder to do some reflection, thank you Eroc
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After years in aa and getting a sponsor who told me that i need al anon i went to my second ever meeting today. I had gone to 1 months ago but i wasnt feeling it. I was tired and i didnt understand what was going on. For some reason they advise you to try 6 meetings. Todays was awesome. And a lovely lady to my left gave me some literature and a meeting schedule. Idk i feel like im hiding something because im an alcoholic too. Idk plus i know for a fact my father and husband can be qualifiers but i questioned the nice lady if i belong there if the alcoholics in my life are sober now.
I feel like being the child of an alcoholic will be a whole new journey but i like the energy.
I think ill try a 3rd meeting
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Oh man I want to tell you EVERYTHING.
We get some of our best people from AA. My sponsor was 30 years AA. I didn’t know the guy was AA first. I hope you have options to try different meetings like I had.
There were a few I didn’t like at first. It was very uncomfortable. And that is exactly why I kept going back on Monday afternoons. The place was filled with serenity. Now I like big meetings and small ones.
Yes give a try. 6 meetings. I guess that’s the magic number. And if you don’t like it after 6 meetings I will personally refund your misery 
Maybe you are ready now. Having both recoveries in my life has done wonders. And I got to get back to my Wednesday Al-Anon as soon as these little dogs are all trained and behaved.
Good for you girl 
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Thanks for the encouragement @Dazercat i look up to you as a kind hearted dad. Im curious to see what ill find in the rooms
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derailment: dogs? plural? what did i miss? i noticed 1 new dog 
@Cjp awsome! i’ve been thinking of trying ACA meetings for years but somehow the only option is online for me and it did not make it on my priority list up to now. Please share how it’s going if you feel comfortable
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Following.. I need a LOT of help.
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Help with what Susie?
Sorry.. I just posted about it in another thread, and I don’t think we’re supposed to post similar things in multiple threads. I’m just trying to deal. Don’t want to break any rules here. I deleted the app due to an argument with spouse, so I’m just posting while at work, but when not at work, when I need help the most, I won’t have an outlet.
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Hey there 
You’re not breaking any rules. Post what you need where you need. This is a safe place. And frankly your life sounds unmanageable right now. So if at all possible try not to worry about us. Sharing is part of the healing. Share it on any dang thread until you find a nugget you can use.
So….. I’m so sorry you’re not getting support at home. That can be beyond difficult. At least my wife supported my sobriety but she said she is going to continue to drink. We were drinking buddies for 40 years. I do feel at first she did resent the fact I got sober. I spent way too much time here. But my sobriety was first and foremost for me once I made that decision.
When my life became unmanageable I got my ass to an Al-Anon meeting. Alanon.org
Al-Anon saved my life and my marriage.
Changed Behaviors Aid Recovery.
I learned I don’t have to attend every fight or argument.
And I learned so many tools, slogans and acronyms.
My first and favorite acronym was WAIT
Why
Am
I
Talking?
I learned I cannot talk to an alcoholic. Especially an active alcoholic. And I can’t control them. If I’m talking too much I’m trying to control something I can’t control.
And the 3 C’s
I didn’t Cause it
I can’t Control it
I can’t Cure it.
Have a good read around. I hope you can find something that helps.
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Omg really? Me? You made my day 
I’ve never heard that description of me before. Aww
Thank you 
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I will remember this. I think he’s proud of me for trying to be sober but at the same time.. misery loves company. So he’s supportive at times and not at others. I will be definitely be reading a lot here and elsewhere while I can. I expect things will smooth out at home.. at least until the weekend. Come Friday.. I don’t know what to expect. Those are some great acronyms. I think I told myself a lot last night….why in the world don’t I just shut my mouth and go to bed. And that was certainly an option, but going to bed without resolving a matter just gives him something else to hold against me. I feel torn between him and sobriety, though he says he fully supports me. I don’t like drama and I usually just take the blame for whatever so we can be at peace. Maybe I need to continue to do that.
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One of my favorite ladies at my first Al-Anon meeting had a WAIT bracelet.
But she had it made with beads.
What my wife thinks about me, before we go to bed at separate times, is not my business. That was really hard for me when we were in the thick of things. Truthfully it’s still work on my part.
One guy always said. “What people think of me is their business.” And I didn’t really like that guy 
But I still listened. And he had some good stuff once and awhile.
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You make a good point, but a hard point. I do care what he thinks of me. It would be easier if I didn’t love him so much. Lol. But I understand the point you are getting at, and I can try to adopt that. It’ll just be difficult. Everything is difficult when it’s new. But it’s for the best.
I like the bracelet. I bet my daughter would make one for me. She loves making bracelets! And if she knows what it’s for, she would be even more the willing. 
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Currently reading your journey here as I’m going through a lot of emotions and arguments with my spouse. I’m only 8 days sober. Thank you for sharing.
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