You give back a lot, I’m glad you’re sharing!
Like @JazzyS mentioned, mixed signals. Don’t take it personal. Early recovery is a stressful time, you might feel vulnerable and have to learn to sit with uncomfortable emotions and thoughts.
It’s great that he has a man cave and uses it! Reminds me of my ex who had a part of the house just for him and NEVER used it, instead annoyed me in the living room so I would back and retire to the bedroom (he also didn’t use for years).
Don’t worry too much, go with the flow and strengthen your boundaries. He does him, you do you. There’s always a chance that things fall into place with time. Lots of change and learning for both of you. Keep sober today, tomorrow is not your focus today. Then repeat the same tomorrow.
I forgot to mention: There are AA and Al-Anon meetings online 24/7. In case you need an immediate escape to stay accountable, hop on one. No need to share or turn the camera on. Just listening often helps to feel not alone and release the pressure of the moment.
thank you so much!!! I have an app for aa online meetings, I’ll have to remember my toolkit to google al anon online meetings if I’m super triggered. I am planning to do exactly what you and @JazzyS said ~ do me, speak up when warranted, protect my peace by leaving spaces in the house, pour the stuff out (& let him know I will) etc.! anything to protect my sobriety & peace with it. Thank y’all so much
But I do this in my real life. Sometimes I feel like I got to be better than others. Little things. Like do more so I don’t look lazy. Or to justify sitting around doing nothing. Or I wish I could speak calmly and organized like Susan does at meetings.
But I know I am getting better. Much better. Trying to unlearn 40 years of a behavior I thought I needed, to have to survive is hard to unlearn.
we got this!!!
