This is the best breakdown I’ve read so far on the concept of Powerlessness…
I’ve read many comments on it, but since I don’t attend meetings, I never fully grasped it.
But, this breakdown helps me to understand what my Higher Power is right now:
For me, it’s Connection to this community; a desire to benefit from and to support its members…
It’s a sense of Purpose, in reaching out more to help other people in my public life.
It’s a Knowledge that I am not uniquely flawed, but that we are all equally flawed - and how that, in itself, informs my value as a more deserving person (this one is still at infant level, but it’s there).
These are things that exist outside of my addict brain, and they are things that exist beyond my willpower - I can touch them even at my worst.
I have mixed feelings on this label for my personal situation. Arguments for me NOT being an alcoholic (these outweigh the YES side, in my controversial opinion):
-I never got addicted or had physical feelings of withdrawals or cravings
-I would have quit immediately if it were impacting a relationship or job or if I had a serious warning about a health issue caused by alcohol.
-I never ran into a money problem as a result of alcohol.
Arguments on the YES side:
-I used alcohol extensively as a break and temporary from life stress, before being aware that there are healthy, positive alternatives. I realize I should have been addressing the underlying reasons for why I was picking up those drinks.
-I have too many times consumed alcohol, knowing that I was gonna have a crappy sleep and negative impacts on my following day. So in that sense, I was putting alcohol above my best interests for some cheap fun.
One thing I can agree with is that I had an alcohol problem, and that I’m actively working my way through it, and I can’t let up my effort and awareness.
So many things I can say here. Just a few. There is meaning and power in words. Would I 'be diagnosed with cancer, I’d say I have cancer, and not that I am a ‘canceric’ or something like that (I’m Dutch, and in Dutch, this argument rings stronger as there’s a word for ‘canceric’ - kankerlijder, which is a rather terrible curse word in Dutch as well).
Personally I don’t identify as an alcoholic or an addict. I don’t like the label. Just like I have a personality disorder (or problably not any more, as I did some successful therapy for it), but I won’t call myself a Borderliner. Nor would I call someone diagnosed with schizophrenia a schizophrenic. Etcetera.
I do have a problem with substances and some other addictive behaviors. For me they’re bad coping mechanisms I developed to deal with my life. In a bad way. And I got sober to work on a better life for myself. Still working on it. One day at a time. I found connection with others where I never found that when I was still in active addiction. I don’t need to label myself for that. I function so much better without any substances in my life. I don’t even want to use again, even when I’m triggered once or twice a year now. Never again.
@EthanHunt I’m not an expert but that’s just how I understand it based on my reading and discussion with other people etc. That’s the beautiful thing about the sobriety community in general, not even just AA, no one really knows what will work for someone else. We can make suggestions and discuss opinions and what works for us and if it’s useful to another, great! If not, no hard feelings that’s how I approach it lol I’m glad you found some value in there, another person might read it and say man Jake’s an idiot and that’s okay too
I feel like a light bulb just turned on for me. I get the powerless thing now. But still, I can’t say that I am owned by alcohol in that I am an alcoholic. Even being powerless, in and of myself, God is greater than that thing, that monster of a thing. For those of you who are not religious, please just ignore me for a moment. This might sound crazy but if I am to turn away from my sins and be conformed to the image of my maker, I cannot say I am an alcoholic. I am His child. Child with many struggles? Yes indeed. Child with a disease? Perhaps. I totally get the powerless thing, trust me I do. But if I went another 40 years sober, I think I would be able to say that I am free from that and not still bound. Thinking I’m an alcoholic all the time, quite frankly, would keep me down to the point that I wouldn’t care anymore. But I am so very happy that a lot of people have found peace with that and that they’re able to quit drinking and live a great life. Whatever it takes for you or me or anyone else to be free, I think that’s fantastic. Thank you for a very thorough explanation of powerlessness.
By the way, is your name Jake? LOL. And I don’t feel like Jake’s an idiot.
Glad you found some value in there, again I’m not an expert just sharing and bouncing thoughts around which is what a sobriety community is about whether it’s AA or just two people talking which AA started with two guys talking and sharing lol
Oh yeah, I love it! No hard feelings anywhere. I think it’s great that we can all talk about it. And hey! I like the light bulb moments that come around every now and then.
@Mno describes my feelings on the label as well…it just has never resonated for me. Nor do I like labels in general. I definitely had poor coping mechanisms and a huge propensity for escape and substance and behavior abuse. Plus I grew up in an area where getting fucked up was what you did, so I just kept doing that.
I smoked cigarettes for 25+ years too…but I don’t identify with that at all anymore. Former smoker. I spent decades snorting coke, former cokehead. I had a 10 year Ambien addiction. I am basically just someone who used substances or behavior to avoid feelings and emotions…sex was a big one too back in the day. And I drank for 40+ years. I don’t anymore. All of that is in my past and no longer defines me as I am now and yes, I have healthier coping mechanisms, tho sweets and shopping…work in progress.
I personally don’t need the label to know I had a problem with drinking and all the other stuff.
Thanks for the great conversation starter and for everyone’s contributions.
Good question. For me it just comes down to recognition. I accept recognizing myself as an alcoholic and in an AA meeting I will introduce myself as one before sharing or speaking. I’ve also heard people say things like “man/woman in recovery” or “(name) problem drinker” or even some funny ones actually. I’ve also just heard people say their name and nothing else. The point is that it’s everyone’s individual decision. It helps me remember the first step of the program that has worked for me so I use it. The label doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is recovering. By recovering and growing not only do you feel better, but you can helps others better too. If AA isn’t your thing that’s ok, but also know that nobody is judging if you don’t say you’re an alcoholic before you share. Also when it comes to people not in recovery like coworkers or something and alcohol gets brought up I simply say I don’t drink anymore. They don’t need to know why. It’s all a personal decision. Hope that helps
Great thread! I personally consider myself as an alcoholic who is suffering from a disease called alcoholism. Although my doctor have diagnosed I’m in a remission now, I can’t ever be cured from this terrible disease and I’m totally fine with that.
I’m an alcoholic. I have no issue with the label or being powerless over alcohol. I could fight and fight and still lose every time I went up against alcohol. Once I surrendered I didn’t have to keep fighting.
For me powerless means that I do not have any control over alcohol. I never will. But in sobriety I do not let alcohol have control over me.
How could I solve a problem if I was in denial that the problem existed. 6 years later I’m a very proud dry and happy alcoholic. Why am I still an alcoholic?.. If I had a drink today the problem would still exist.
EXCELLENT topic. This is the kind of discourse I come to the site for. Me talking out my answer helps clarify myself in my mind and reading other people’s opinions is what this community is all about. Hold the potato, keep chatting.
and that’s okay too
! Lol