As a PMO lifer, it's time for a dumb phone

I’ve struggled with a smart phone for 20 years. I’ve had all types of blocking systems, but i still fail. You might say, it’s a deeper issue, i’m aware, its what’s on the inside that’s broken. And yet, 99% of my relapses happen on my smart phone. Might be time to just get a dumb phone and move on with life. If this is holding me back, i should have probably done this…let’s say 2005.

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Hell i often feel like most people would be happier without a smartphone anyway. If it helps your pmo, go for it. Itd probably have farther reaching benefits as well.

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If I know anything about addiction, your problem is not a phone. It’s not even PMO that you have a problem with. That is just a solution you use.

The problem is how you think. That is what needs to change.

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I did that and it helped me get some traction fighting PMO, get some perspective. I think you should do it.

@Mephistopheles is right though. The battle is inside, not outside. Ultimately all the outside stuff is just window dressing. Yes this may help you find some perspective. But you will need to dig deeper to turn things around.

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If it helps you to get a fresh start, then go ahead. Yet, as said in comments above, it is futile to battle symptoms without addressing root causes. Addicts are masters in deception, of themselves and others. I fooled myself by thinking that reading erotic literature isn’t same as watching porn so, therefore, it would be “ok”.

Nevertheless, it IS beneficial to guard yourself and consider what you lay your eyes upon. I block sites and change the channel when a programme becomes sexual in nature. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get out of my lustful mindset, sometimes it only takes a moment.

I underwent a 2-year therapy to tackle my addiction and it was beneficial for me. I’m not immune to my addiction but I have tools. A change is possible, never lose hope.

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I do the same thing.

@SufferingNoMore-Free, I forgot to mention above, one resource I find helpful is to enlist support from trusted contacts, to help me keep myself safe using digital tools. On my computer I use EverAccountable software together with weekly checkins with my sponsor.

The software doesn’t block the sites - at least, I don’t have it set to block any sites - but it does send a weekly report to my sponsor, and we have dug into that in detail whenever there has been a problem. In that way it’s like physiotherapy: you can’t not live in the physical world (just like you can’t not live in the digital world, at least not without recruiting someone to do all your digital stuff for you), so when you need some help moving appropriately in the physical world, you schedule weekly checkups with your physiotherapist, who helps you unpack any problems and coaches you on correcting them. It’s up to you to do the work between appointments, but if you do that work, the change happens, and you can grow and develop. (Just like working a program with a sponsor.)

On my iPhone and iPad I have them controlled through Screen Time (it’s standard in Apple products, in Settings), and the Screen Time passcode is set by my wife. (In my case it’s my wife, but it could just as easily be my sponsor. You could use your sponsor.) Apple has a pretty good adult filter in their settings, and it works across any browser on the phone. You don’t have to set anything special, it just applies as a blanket, across the whole phone and all apps. There are a couple websites I had to add to the list - which I did by sitting down with my wife and she entered the code, I added the sites to the list, then she entered the code again to lock it - but other than that the system requires no extra work at all.

You can use EverAccountable on your mobile devices if you want too. In my case I don’t, because I found its VPN interfered with the cloud services I use for work. It doesn’t really matter though because Apple’s adult filter is pretty good.

The system works for me because I am working my program and I have external accountability with my sponsor. (I am not accountable to my wife because I don’t think that’s healthy; it throws the balance off in the relationship. I use external accountability for my addiction recovery.) You might give it a try too, or something similar (with a sponsor and a program for external accountability), and see how it works for you.

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