As expected, I couldn't visit my old crew without caving

Relapses
1

And AYE YI YI

go big or go home, I guess!

Went to my best friend’s MFA show in Indiana. All was well until her boyfriend flew in and broke her heart with his criticism and disinterest. As the discomfort built, I caved harddddd

They essentially broke up and the night before I went home she was sad so my brain decided “last hurrah, let’s usher in a new era after tonight!” I wound up so tanked I threw all my clothes off and peed on my hotel floor…in front of her brother (also a good friend).

I can accept the absurdity of this and not punish myself toooooo bad. I was brutally hungover and shame ridden the next day, plus I missed my flight and was a bit too aware of my organs the next day. All and all, the relapse costed me 300 dollars, a cranky kidney, and a demented Gummo-like display in the hotel room.

Almost back on day 3 sober again! But goddamnit did I…make a spectacle

3

Congrats on your 3 days. Sounds like this was expected, do you have a plan for the next ‘as expected’ time? I know for me those would have been quite regular so I needed to make some drastic changes early on and stay away from situations where alcohol would be.

4

Generally speaking it is wise to avoid situations like this in early sobriety. From what I read you drank because your friend had a rough night? But in reality you put yourself in that situation. You drank because you didn’t cherish your sobriety? I agree with @Mephistopheles, you should probably have a plan going forward.

4 Likes
5

I stay away from people, places, situations that tempt me. I also drink for one reason and one reason only: because I want to

At least now you know who to avoid til you feel genuinely sorted out.

5 Likes
6

Maybe try a meeting they help wish you well

7

I already booked a flight for my best friend’s MFA thesis and was afraid to let her down on top of the elevated emotional situation I was trying to comfort. Agreed, an excuse from double think

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8

We live, we learn. I doubt you’ll be making a similar mistake again so at least you can benefit from your relapse.

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9

Thats only if you choose to make changes and fix it. Or you can excuse it as just another relapse and probably do it again because u didnt change anything…