As expected, I couldn't visit my old crew without caving



go big or go home, I guess!

Went to my best friend’s MFA show in Indiana. All was well until her boyfriend flew in and broke her heart with his criticism and disinterest. As the discomfort built, I caved harddddd

They essentially broke up and the night before I went home she was sad so my brain decided “last hurrah, let’s usher in a new era after tonight!” I wound up so tanked I threw all my clothes off and peed on my hotel floor…in front of her brother (also a good friend).

I can accept the absurdity of this and not punish myself toooooo bad. I was brutally hungover and shame ridden the next day, plus I missed my flight and was a bit too aware of my organs the next day. All and all, the relapse costed me 300 dollars, a cranky kidney, and a demented Gummo-like display in the hotel room.

Almost back on day 3 sober again! But goddamnit did I…make a spectacle


Whats going to Be different this Time? AA helped Me.


Congrats on your 3 days. Sounds like this was expected, do you have a plan for the next ‘as expected’ time? I know for me those would have been quite regular so I needed to make some drastic changes early on and stay away from situations where alcohol would be.


Generally speaking it is wise to avoid situations like this in early sobriety. From what I read you drank because your friend had a rough night? But in reality you put yourself in that situation. You drank because you didn’t cherish your sobriety? I agree with @Rain666, you should probably have a plan going forward.


I stay away from people, places, situations that tempt me. I also drink for one reason and one reason only: because I want to

At least now you know who to avoid til you feel genuinely sorted out.


Maybe try a meeting they help wish you well


I already booked a flight for my best friend’s MFA thesis and was afraid to let her down on top of the elevated emotional situation I was trying to comfort. Agreed, an excuse from double think


We live, we learn. I doubt you’ll be making a similar mistake again so at least you can benefit from your relapse.


Thats only if you choose to make changes and fix it. Or you can excuse it as just another relapse and probably do it again because u didnt change anything…