So far there have been ups and downs - mostly downs if I’m honest but everyone tells me that is normal and the same as their experience.
Over the past couple of days my wife has become quite low. She is quiet and not talking and I can tell she is just tired of having to be the primary parent. I am working all day during the week and sometimes that spills in to the weekend. She works shift work too. I feel like my work is taking all my energy and my family are suffering as a result.
Am I right to focus on work - a job I really enjoy - and help where I can at home or am I wrong here? With so much of my time taken up with work, I don’t know how I am supposed to commit to work, sobriety, my wife and my daughters. It’s a steep learning curve and I feel like I’m not keeping up with it.
You will find your balance. But know it’s not about more time with your family but being present in the time you have. Quality time is the best! Stay strong and sober
Yeah, I think I just need to give myself a kick up the a*$3 and find some energy that I can give to my family. I want to give the best of me to everything - particularly my family.
Its a tough situation feeling responsible for other peoples happiness. I did it for years. Just bare in mind just because you may be getting better doesn’t mean the other person in your life is. I made my husband and kids sick as a product of my drinking. There were so many feeling behind there actions. Honestly I agree with @gemini620 make the moments count. When one parent is left to pick up the peices there’s a resentment there. I would just show genuine concern for what yourbwife is feeling. It might be something communication can squash. No so much asking whats wrong, just asking how she’s feeling these days now that your off the sauce and you can share the pressure your feeling. Just an idea… coming from a woman’s standpoint and an alcoholic in recovery standpoint.
Hey man congratulations on 21 days first and foremost! I am kind of in your situation in that I have a wife and 2 daughters and I work 10 hr days which sometimes spills into the weekend as well. I would get the cold shoulder when I had to work weekends. I honestly focused on my sobriety first when I realized I had to stop drinking. I was selfish in that way but it knew it was better for everyone and myself that I made this my first priority. It takes time but as my sobriety continued and with a clear head it was easier to find that balance. My hours didn’t change at work or anything like that. I noticed the quality of time I did have at home improved drastically. No more sleeping off a hangover on my only days or day off, I had the energy to be much more involved after work, and when I was home my focus was on family and not how much beer I had left in the house. I wish you luck man. If over time you see that your job still makes it hard for you to maintain that balance maybe it might be time for a change and being sober will only help you navigate that transition.
