Awkward Newbie Orchard

Hello, I am new. At taking sobriety as seriously as I am right now. And also at forums. They seem scarily like another arena for drama. I get high on drama just as easily as any drink or drug you throw at me.

Ultimately I have so many areas of life that need improving.
I’ve got so much story… that I’d like to stop repeating to everyone i meet. So in a way, a forum might be an appropriate outlet. A way to use my phone addictively without putting high amounts of emotional strain onto the few friends i do have, family members, or exes…

One of my bosses smokes cigarettes at work and freely enables me to join in. It’s my responsibility to refuse. I’ve done a few shifts there refusing the cigs.

But today i feel tired and quite terrible and I’m dreading work. My cigarette counter has one day on it. I want to make it two!!

Thanks for reading

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Awww it’s ok, don’t be scared. I have managed to be on here for months with no drama. I only post about my sobriety, I only post to help others and if I see some drama brewing I just kick back and watch the fireworks! It doesn’t happen often as our moderators and regulars are pretty good about shutting it down. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with your sobriety if you need it. This forum is a powerful tool of support that works if used wisely😊

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Thank you so much @Legacy @me_me_me. Haha I’m coming across all frightened rabbit!. But early mornings & late at night are my worst times.

Good news - going strong with no cigarettes. For the past two days I’ve started embracing the physical pain I’m in. I’ve started accepting the detox for what it is and am pretty happy a simple thing like a day counter and reading other sobriety stories can solidify my resolve.

I’m going to change :muscle:

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Have you considered nicotine replacement therapy (fancy way of saying the patch, gum, or lozenges)?

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I have got some gum going. It’s a smart move :nerd_face:

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Hello! Congratulations on being sober today. I have often wondered if I was addicted to drama. I don’t like gossip or anything like that, but the constant need to hash and re hash an issue is very common for me. I kinda realized that I was just doing that as a distraction to not solve this problem at hand. Kinda like how I would use alcohol to numb my mind so I wouldn’t have to deal with the problem.

They very much go hand in hand-for me. I need to let go of the alcohol and drama for good and face my issues as a sober adult. Since I haven’t had the guilt or bad decisions or hangovers that come with drinking, it’s made me feel like a much more stable person. And I just want to keep going with that feeling.

I wish I could help with cigarettes…I hope you find some good support on here for that as well.

:heart:

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Hey @Lionfish, this is exactly it. I use drugs to blur and numb everything, rail against my circumstances and all those who’ve “Done me Wrong” when i really just need to own it and solve it and work on building a life.
I’ve been going to local NA meetings where I can and had 16 days clean up before i reeeellllaaaaapsed for an entire weekend, then joined this forum shortly afterwards. The shame I feel about myself is just getting to be too much.

But the thought of feeling everything for the rest of my life is so daunting… Which is why they say Just For Today. Well i didn’t smoke anything yesterday and I won’t have to smoke anything today.

And if you choose to be clean and sober forever, you only have to go through this once.

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