I drank and I am coming to realize that I am truly the saying “1 is too many, 1000s not enough” I’m in college so every week it starts on Thursday “want to go out” And I don’t go out and I am so much happier cause I’m sober that night but then “bottomless brunch” comes along and that’s where it starts the mayhem again. I don’t know just looking for advice and at the end of the day I know it’s willpower, being strong and doing it for myself.
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I would try a meeting. Just listen. I know where you’re at. I have been there too. Taught how to drink by people who shouldn’t. It took me 3/4years of repeated day 1s to finally go to a meeting. I’m highly successful, I’m young, and I too cannot have even 1. One day at a time just be sober today. And tomorrow start again. Wish you all the best.
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I’m right there with you, and feel like a rotten POS because of it. I truly don’t want to go to a meeting, but feel like I’m going to have to soon since I cannot get my shit together on my own. I wish you the best.
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Yes I truly agree, I’m back at day one again myself keep drinking and drinking, holding down a job and family, falling apart I feel, its making me so down
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Its hard the first few days, but it does get easier.
A meeting would be great maybe ?
There are many online meetings and face to face meetings.
I was told once
" show me your friends and il show you your future"
Some people stop because they know they have to, others unfortunately are forced to stop by serious and sad and also deadly situations.
Here is the link for a thread that has all diff kind of online meetings and info, take a look 
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Thank you!
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Your smart, maybe read up on some of the affects of alcoholism. The consequences we face can be life changing, the social obligations we feel in the party atmosphere can be what holds us in the endless cycle. Can try distancing yourself from the party, its good you realize what a problem drinking can bring before it spirals out. Good to see you here in this sober community. 
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Thank you. You are 100% right and congrats on 5 years! That’s inspiration for me and so many others. Meetings do help and the big book is the first thing I pulled out when I was ridden with anxiety the morning I decided I wanted sober to stick. Thank you for encouraging me once again.
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Good luck with that then bc I tried willing myself sober for years and the only thing I learnt was I had no power and I will get drunk.
Stick with the winners, reach out for help, change your routine, accept its going to feel uncomfortable and remember it’s only for about 12 hours and then you can go to bed.
Thank you!
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Gonna listen to Bob D. AA Speakers “Surrender”
Keep going and stay strong! You might want to consider changing your surroundings and environment until you are strong enough to be around it. I went through the same thing. My friends and family were so used to me drinking and being the life of the party. When I wasn’t drinking it was like “what’s wrong with you”
It’s sad that you can’t go out without people expecting you to drink. In the beginning of my journey, I had to stop going out until I was strong enough. Keep going and don’t beat yourself up!
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