Bad friend? Or good company?

I had a friend come over knowing what I am going through right now , knowing I’m sad, getting sober, but also knew I could use a friend. Anyways they brought a 12 pack over, didn’t offer and I didn’t ask. I didn’t have a drink besides of my 2 liter Dr pepper… but how should I take that?. They were there to talk but bringing beer over knowing I’m still in early stages of getting sober and asked me to go to bar and just sit there ? I did good and stayed strong but I don’t know how to take it…

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Sometimes, people are not aware of what exposure to alcohol like that can do to us. It’s just not knowing.

Sometimes, people are threatened on some level by our sobriety and want us to fail so that they feel OK to keep drinking.

I like hanging out with people in AA. They understand sobriety and struggle. They are interested in helping themselves by helping others. I have always felt my sobriety is safe and valued in AA, that’s why I go there.

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Hey @Klynn sounds like your friend meant well but you both didn’t know know how to handle the new situation? When our needs chance, it is our responsibility to communicate this. Let your friends know what you need, see if they can handle it or not. If that friend is still around if you’re not going to the bar and won’t have alcohol in your house. It’s an adjustment for all sides.

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maybe try a meeting meet new sober friends who will understand what your going through, as for your friend next time tell them its a sober house so dont bring any booze wish you well

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Some people think that quitting drinking simply means not having a drink.
In their head it might seem totally fine to drink around you, with all that needs be done is not offer you a drink.
You may need to make your boundaries clearer to them (and others) so it is on them to either respect those or disrespect them. That will help you work out their motives and standings as good friends or bad company.
:+1:

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This would’ve upset me personally and I would’ve found it very disrespectful. My questioning mind would’ve wondered what their motives were being there. To help and support me? Or to see if I would cave and ask for one, hoping that we would rekindle our drinking days. Not cool in my opinion :frowning: but I also don’t know ur friend and I don’t want to say something that insults them or u. I just don’t think that’s right. Maybe they don’t understand about alcoholism… idk

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Not cool. If they’re aware your trying to stay clean, not bringing drinks is implied. Good for you to stay strong! (not sure I could have here on my delicate day 4) Great to have a friend come to support but I would be clear, I don’t want a drink waved in front of me. Just me. Again, good for you

Every Christmas for the past 3 years I’m given alcohol and every time I see old friends/my family I’m handed a beer, to which I stare blankly at them till they get it and then apologize (often repeatedly lol).

In my situation my friends and family are basically burnouts trying to be nice. Now some of them I don’t see anymore cause I don’t trust myself, but in either event I don’t blame them. It’s my baggage not theirs and unless I believe there is sabotage afoot I just self regulate.

Great job not drinking. Keep it up and some of those same friends will likely find themselves curious about this new, sober Kayla :wink:

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A think u done really well and why don’t u ask them about next time not to bring booze or ask why they did?