Bad memories and how to get past them?

Hi guys and gals…

Throughout my years of heavy drinking since the age of 14, I have done some really stupid things while intoxicated. Things I’d never do sober, things I don’t even remember. I know I’m not alone, but I feel like these are things I want to forget. My friends constantly bring up drunk stories and all of the stupid shit I’ve done. I basically told my best two friends to please stop because it’s only making me put myself down further. They think the stories are funny and they say they’re only giving me a hard time because it wasn’t anything serious. But to me it is serious! I don’t want to hear about how I walked out into a dinner party with nothing but a black thong on asking to borrow some clean clothes because I puked all over mine. It makes me sick to my stomach to think I’ve done those things so many times and so much worse.

Even though it deters me from drinking, it makes me very down on myself which doesn’t make my recovery any easier with all of the PAWS symptoms I’m experiencing. How can I get the point across better? I don’t want to cut these people out of my life but I guess they don’t see how serious the issue is.

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Same issues here. I cut mine off for now, pictures of me and things I was doing aren’t entertaining and I would never keep the same kind of pictures of my friends. I have shut the door on them for the time being…we’ll see if they are still around after a few months of my sobriety.

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I’m afraid that’s what I’ll end up having to do. My recovery is number one right now and if they’re true to me they will either get the point or get away I guess. Time will tell.

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I don’t have any of my old friends anymore and the 12 steps and tradition helped me like I never thought could. Somewhere in there we give our troubles to god or out higher power, it works most of the time for me. I come across the madness and just give it to god.

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U are absolutely correct - ur wellbeing is #1…and I will add this…not that images like that were ever truly funny, but I started thinking about some of the images my drinking friends have shown me -that I have no recollection of- and the behavior captured and those capturing the behavior seem so incredibly stupid and juvenile when I look at it through the sober eyes of a 43 year old married father.

I hear you, the party was over decades ago for me.

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I’ve done not only stupid things that I’m embarrassed about but made decisions that could have harmed someone. I know exactly how you feel. I used to think some of the stupid things I’ve done were funny(not the dangerous ones) but now that I’m older I just can’t believe I did them. I can’t believe I’m alive.

All my past friends are gone so I can’t give you advice on that. I don’t want to encourage you to part ways with your friends because they can be important in recovery but if they are an obstacle to your recovery, always bringing up the past, then that might be best. You need to move forward, for your sake.

It is a serious issue when life hangs in the balance

Somethings never change just because you are sober and are around sober people it doesn’t mean you are in the clear people are still ill intended people in and out of these programs.