Hello all, I have 18 days sober from alcohol and cocaine, happy to be here and happy to be sober, but my job puts me at a constant mental battle. I’m a bartender/manager at a nice restaurant and I’m constantly around booze. I haven’t had any cravings or thoughts that went too far or that I couldn’t control, but I was wondering if anybody else is in the service industry and has any advice/tips to keep myself in a professional mindset. Nice to meet you all, hope to connect and cheer everybody on with their own journey. Cheers! (Ha)
JR
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Hey,
I’m not in the service industry (although I was at a few points, but never bartending), but I do know that booze is big part of the culture. Hell I was often drunk while working in those jobs. I also know there are at least a few people on here that worked as bartenders while sober and managed to do alright. I can’t recall who but I hope they chime in for ya.
My thoughts are that while it would be difficult to see the “fun” parts of drinking when your customers are boozing it up and having a good time “responsibly”, I’m sure you also get to see plenty of the bad parts. People that get too drunk, make a fool of themselves, get tossed out, etc. I know that I was that person more than once in my past life. I even got tossed from my Uncle’s bar once about 10 years ago at my worst (I still maintain that opening my mouth at that expense was justified, guy next to me was spouting racist bullshit and I told him off). I think seeing the bad side of drinking in the 3rd person like that might actually help remind you of the consequences you’re trying to avoid. I think it would be useful for me, at least. It happens now when I see incredibly drunk people out and about…just a mental note of “thank goodness that’s not me anymore”.
I would think the most important thing is being honest and transparent with yourself, especially upstairs. If you are struggling to keep away from it, or the “wheels start turning” to rationalize a drink, be honest with yourself about it and ask if it’s worth the risk to continue working there. I know work is hard to come by these days for most, but your health and well-being needs to come first.
If you are friendly with anyone you work with, especially if it’s someone you know you can trust, maybe open up to them if you feel comfortable. Something that helped me in the early days when going to any outing or event was to have an “accountability partner” of sorts. Just one person at least who knows that you cannot and will not drink. Having someone around with that knowledge can be a useful deterrent, because not only do you have to play the mental game of convincing yourself it’s OK to have a drink (we all know the game), but you’ll also have to rationalize it to them as well if they’re a good friend who has your best interests in mind. They can be a logical voice when your addiction is telling you illogical things.
Anyhow – again, hope someone with more of a similar work/life experience can offer up advice, but those are my suggestions based on my own experiences 
Good luck to you!
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I truly admire your strength in staying sober while working around booze. I was a bartender for some time and it definitely fueled my addiction, considering the service industry (especially my bar) was just riddled with cocaine as well. Our doorman had been sober for years, but relapsed at our bar and was subsequently fired for being drunk at work. I haven’t worked sober but I’d just advise you to be mindful of your sobriety and keep in mind the consequences of slipping up should temptation arise. Again, I admire your dedication as I know for me, it would be playing with fire.
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I am one day and 16 hours into my sobriety. My vices are alcohol with cocaine once a week or so. I have been working in the craft beer industry for over 20 years and my very identity has been enveloped in alcohol. Every single person I spend time with, drinks. Every gathering, every Zoom call, every outing, involves alcohol, and about 80% of my conversations alcohol is a topic of discussion whether it is work involved or not. Although I am only a day and a half in, I have found myself avoiding phone calls and even eye contact. I know I can’t do that forever, but for now I am allowing myself to focus on what I need to do in order to make it through this initial stretch.
For the last 8 years or so, I’d take breaks from drinking for a few weeks a couple times a year, just to prove to myself I didn’t actually have a problem with alcohol. I don’t get black out drunk, I don’t get sloppy, I don’t get sick, and I get to a point if I’ve had too much I just stop drinking. I always considered it a blessing. I now work from home mostly and found myself I drinking mid mornings (cuz, why not?). I found myself drinking first thing in the morning, because I found the drink I didn’t finish from the night before. I wasn’t getting wasted, but I was drinking throughout the day and into the evening. I was tricking myself into thinking it wasn’t a problem. I knew it was an issue, but I’d justify it. Alcohol was effecting me in more ways that I care to admit. I am nervous how sobriety will impact my work life and social life. I do know that sobriety is the best thing for myself and my son.
I don’t have any advice to give, but I am charging forward, putting one foot in front of the other, and focusing on what is most important.
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Hey there, sober bartender here! I’ve been sober a little over a year now, I also struggled with coke.
The cravings don’t really go away. It does get a lot easier to control them and they happen a lot less frequently though.
My best advice is find your triggers and avoid them when you can. My biggest trigger was shift drinks after work. For the first couple months I would just leave immediately after I was off and go home and not put myself in a place where I know I might drink.
It might also help to find an industry only zoom meeting. I don’t know what country you live in, but if you’re in the U.S. Ben’s friends is a great industry only sober group.
Good luck and a big congrats to you for staying sober for 18 days that’s not an easy thing to do.
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Wow good hear from others that are having or have had this experience. I basically needed to continue to bartend my fist 7 months of sobriety. Been sober since 5-11-19. I was separated from my wife headed towards divorce with my wife, due to my alcohol and cocaine addictions. I needed the money to supplement my income since I was paying rent on my own place, and half the mortgage of the house we still owned. It was extremely difficult, but doable. Some nights were harder than others.
I always brought my favorite cold brew coffee beverage to have to sip on during my shifts, along with soda water mocktails to keep me occupied. I relied heavily on the things I had learned in AA.
It was a free for all environment for drinking and partying on the clock. It got really old lying to customers about why I wasn’t taking shots with them anymore. I never once came out and said I was in AA or an alcoholic, but after a while it became easy to say No Thank you and the offers became less and less. My simple “go to” response became, “Sorry I’m not drinking tonight”. That was honest too.
Fast forward to now, and it’s been a year since I’ve worked a shift there, and sickly I still think about it. I guess it’s part of the disease. I miss the money, the music, and honestly the attention. Especially from attractive women.
One day at a time!